The Devil's Rejects

Starring: Sid Haig, Bill Moseley, Sheri Moon Zombie Directed by: Rob Zombie

After watching White Zombie, I was curious to see what Rob Zombie's scriptwriting and directing looked like.  I chose to watch The Devil's Rejects – first because I really didn't want to see House of 1000 Corpses, and I also remember Zombie promoting this film during his set at Ozzfest in 2005 (a day I also got the worst sunburn of my life, saw Iron Maiden and did not see Ozzy because he was 'sick.'  But that's a completely different story.)

The Devil's Rejects does have a bit of a plot – the family that murders together in House of 1000 Corpses is now the focus on of a police manhunt after scrapbooks documenting and linking them to over 75 killings are found in their home.  Baby (Sheri Moon Zombie) and Otis (Bill Moseley) escape and call Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig) to tell him to get his biscuits out of Dodge as well.

They all head for the meet-up point while Sheriff Wydell – leader of the manhunt and brother to a victim of the family – becomes increasingly driven by revenge and completely motivated to capture the remaining three.  He is also willing to go outside the lines of the law by hiring two bounty hunters (Danny Trejo and Diamond Dallas Page) to bring back Baby, Otis and the Captain in 'good enough' shape for him to have a few words with them.

Adventures along the way to the showdown with the Sheriff include torture, murder, sexual abuse, taunting, gratuitous T&A, lots of blood, and Otis making a mask out of the face of one of his victims.  All of which I found very difficult to watch.  The two tolerable things in probably 90 minutes of torture and murder by Otis, Spaulding, Baby and Wydell (out of 109 minutes in the film) were the soundtrack (mostly southern rock from the 70s) and Spaulding's brother Charlie (Ken Foree).

The directing itself was also good – Zombie used some nice transitional devices from scene to scene, and the ending sequence was well done. Had the storyline/action in the film been less troubling to watch (at least for me), I would probably recommend it with no reservations.

That being said, if you:

• Like a movie where half the script consists of the f-bomb.
• Want to see DDP act like a bloodthirsty madman
• Like a lot of gore

Put it in the queue.

However if you:

• Don't like movies with no 'good guys.'
• Don't like to watch people being psychologically and physically tortured.
• Are afraid of clowns with bad teeth

Don't put it in the queue.

Written by Jennifer Venson

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Undead

Starring: Jake Hoffman, Devon Aoki, John Ventimiglia, Kris Lemche Directed by: Jordan Galland

Alas, poor Yorick…you're not even in Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Undead!  And Hamlet?  Depends on if you're talking about the play or the man.  Both are parts of this film, but this is not your high school literature teacher's Hamlet.

Julian (Jake Hoffman) is on the verge of getting kicked out of his father's house/medical office for being a general slacker who apparently believes his job is bringing home a different girl every night rather than bringing home the bacon.  In his copious free time, he also acts as his gorgeous ex-girlfriend's errand lackey.  Even though she is dating an obnoxious entrepreneur (Ralph Macchio).

Forced to interview for a director's position at a small theater (or else find other living arrangements), Julian finds himself with a new job after a very weird interview with theater owner/actor Theo (John Ventimiglia).  Tasked with finding suitable actors for a vampire-themed adaptation of the classic play, he enlists his best friend Vince (Kris Lemche).  His ex-girlfriend Anna (Devon Aoki) salivates at the idea of playing Ophelia, but Julian is hesitant to involve her with the strange cast of characters.  Including an actor who believes the names of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern should be updated to Rosendude and Guildenbro, or other similar abominations.

Vince suspects something truly is rotten in the state of this theater company when he thinks he sees Theo and two of the other actresses devouring a human outside a club.  He screams for Julian, but by the time Julian appears – there is nothing to be seen.  Vince is also approached by a woman who insists a vampire-themed adaptation of Hamlet is part of an ancient conspiracy, usually ending in the whole cast and audience becoming a vampire buffet on opening night.  Seems crazy, right?  Well, not as crazy as the Monthy Python-esque video explaining the historical track of this conspiracy, or even the ridiculously rambling play itself.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Undead is one of those films that gives me great hope for my own mediocre scriptwriting.  However, the sheer goofiness of the storyline makes this a very enjoyable movie, if you like that sort of thing.  It definitely does not resemble Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, which I once attempted to watch and miserably failed (I don't like absurdist plays/movies/etc.), but it does make a reference to it.  The acting is not all bad, and the brief appearance of Hamlet is hilarious (but not as hilarious as Hamlet thinks it is.  Yeah.  He's that guy).

If you:

• Like Hamlet, but are not a literary purist about it – after all, it's just words….words…words.  :)
• Like conspiracy theory
• Have low expectations for this movie

Put it in the queue!

However, if you:

• Think vampire theatre should be elegant, seductive and beautiful…not peppered with bumbling humans and weighted down by a boring script.
• Can't stand the idea of Hamlet (the man himself) being kind of a tool who thinks he's a standup comedian.
• Aren't in the mood for 90 minutes of ridiculousness

Don't put it in the queue.

Written by Jennifer Venson

Black Water

Here’s the main problem with "Black Water. " The DVD art sucks. I’m serious.  This is a movie I must have overlooked a thousand times because of its subpar American marketing.  Not that the original Australian movie poster (http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3093533440/tt0816436) is all that much better but, geez, look at the cover of this bad boy.  It looks cheaper than cheap.  Heck, see that snake creeping up on our heroine?  THAT’S A CROCODILE!  More on par with something you would turn off after ten minutes if you stumbled upon it on the Syfy channel.  Like, say….this maybe? (http://www.allrovi.com/movies/movie/venomous-v257003).

Turns out this film pretty much exceeds every expectation you could possibly have for it based on the images of Hasselhoff being chased by CGI snakes it instantly brings to mind (http://www.dvdactive.com/news/releases/anaconda-3-offspring.html).

The film starts out with our three main characters headed to visit a croc park.  Grace (Diana Glenn) and Adam (Andy Rodoreda) are in a relationship together, and Lee (Maeve Dermody) is tagging along.  The next day the trio decide to take Backwater Barry’s Alternative River Tour.

When they arrive Jim (Ben Oxenbould) takes them out on a fishing expedition in to the river, where their boat is capsized by a giant crocodile.  Grace and Adam swim to a nearby tree and shimmy up, Lee climbs on to the bottom of the capsized boat, and Jim is taken by the conniving reptile.

Films such as this one walk a fine line between suspense and tedium.  There’s a certain surprise when the croc makes his appearance at only 15 minutes in to the film to strand our unwitting participants.  How can this film continue for another hour plus?

In many ways “Black Water” is comparable to “Jaws.”  Not that it’s a classic, per se, but it uses a similar sense of inferred terror and paranoia over blatant CGI.  Oh, and dangerous water-based villains.  After he leaves with Jim’s body, the three friends aren’t even sure the croc is still there.  Why would it just be hanging out?  Shouldn’t it be safe to just go turn the boat over and get out of there?  The croc makes few appearances, but doesn’t look cheesy at all.  I would venture to say they used a lot of shots of real crocodiles in this film.

I checked this movie out after running across it on rottentomatoes.  A movie I thought looked “Ankle Biters” generic (http://www.allrovi.com/movies/movie/ankle-biters-v274918) was sitting at 79%.  My interest was piqued.  And, I have to say, this turned out to be a REALLY good movie.

The sense of dread the three are experiencing is palpable, the director ratchets up the suspense in some creative ways, and the cinematography is beautiful.  There are, of course, some lulls.  You can only do so much with three people stranded in such a small area.  But it’s much better than trying to flesh out the film by having the characters, say, hang out at a bar for 15 minutes, than at a hotel for another 15, maybe an unnecessary and drawn out argument between the boyfriend and girlfriend, etc, etc.  Getting in to the “action” quickly grabs your interest early and the film does a good job of keeping it.

Maybe it’s not Jaws, but for a generation of movie-goers who may not have seen the film, it’s a well-made foray into a genre usually filled with cheap, repetitive tripe.

Written by Ryan Venson

Uncle Sam and Homecoming

Uncle Sam -- Starring: William Smith, David 'Shark' Fralick, Christopher Ogden

Directed by: William Lustig

Homecoming --

Starring: Jon Tenney, Thea Gill

Directed by: Joe Dante

Two zombie films for the price of one in this review, friends.

The first is Uncle Sam.  From the first 10 minutes, it seems like it might be a decent movie.  It starts out a little ominous in the desert of Iraq, deceased soldiers in a helicopter…though one is really not dead, just zombified and making a cheesy joke about friendly fire whilst shooting the investigating officer.

That is pretty much the highlight of the movie.

The rest is a heavy-handed, unfunny march through the soldier's hometown.  His name is Sam, and he left behind a wife who is afraid of him, a sister who is also afraid of him, and a nephew who absolutely idolizes him.

You can see who is going to taste the wrath of zombie Uncle Sam from miles away.  The draft-dodging elementary school teacher.  The IRS-cheating, Gulf War criticizing family friend.  The obnoxious teenagers who burn flags and desecrate the National Anthem.

It takes a really long time to set up the back story and get to the part where Uncle Sam starts doling out ridiculous zombie justice (such as running an unpatriotic offender up a flagpole by his neck and terminating a peeping tom with hedge clippers).  Plus, the adoring nephew's blind adoration and the political overtones are less humorous, more painful to watch.

The only thing that makes this movie somewhat watchable is the bloodbath at the 4^th of July town festival and Issac Hayes as the overall hero of the day.

Do yourself a favor and don't put it in the queue.  There are many better options, such as…

Homecoming, a Masters of Horror piece directed by Joe Dante (Gremlins, the 'burbs) is a far superior zombie soldier movie.

David (Jon Tenney) is something of a legend among political speechwriters, working a bit of an uphill spin battle for the upcoming election due to the unpopular war.  On an evening talk show similar to "Larry King Live" and other of that ilk, he has an emotional moment and wishes soldiers killed in action could come back and tell their families how proud they are to have died for their country.

Not only is this quote totally sound-biteable, it attracts the attention of the show's other guest, Jane Cleaver (Thea Gill).  Styled in the political leanings of Ann Coulter, she is a ball-busting conservative aching for power and unafraid to use her confidence and feminine wiles to get to the inner circle of politics.

Elsewhere, strange things begin to happen with remains of American soldiers killed in action returning from war.  Some of them are getting out of their flag-covered caskets and shuffling about as zombies with unfinished business.

Of course, this is a political nightmare.  It also stirs up an old family secret about David's brother, a Vietnam war veteran.

Amid speculation about how undead soldiers could be a tremendous asset to the cause, one finally speaks.  Why are they here?  What do they want?  Really, all they want is to vote in the upcoming election.  Not braaaaaaaaains, not souls, just a vote.  Easy, right?  Come on, it's politics.  What do you think happens?

As an hour-long movie, it is excellently stocked with philosophical points, politics, humor, and a creative premise.  Joe Dante is truly a master of comic horror.

If you:

• Like zombie movies
• Like a laugh with your undead
• Enjoy a thinking person's scary film

Put it in the queue!

However, if you:

• Are very pro-war
• Are bored silly by political theory
• Are unable to laugh at the ridiculososity of the political spin machine

Don't put it in the queue.

Written by: Jennifer Venson

Rawhead Rex

Starring: David Dukes, Niall Toibin, Ronan Wilmot Directed by: George Pavlou

“Rawhead Rex” is a demon.  He is born forth out of the ground when a lightning bolt strikes a giant stone phallus jutting out of the Earth for no discernible reason.  I mean, the stone doesn’t appear to be there for a reason, and any explanation as to why Rex appears also has no reason.  I found this to be a reoccurring theme throughout the film.

Upon his birth (or resurrection, I suppose) from the dirt of the earth, a woman at a nearby church is burnt by the altar (the reason?  You guessed it!).  Said church also contains a stained-glass window depicting Rawhead being cast down by a faceless figure.  It’s part of the Old Testament, I think.

We’re introduced in to all the main characters here:  Howard Hallenbeck, our hero, and his family, a wife and two adorable children. Reverend Coot, the obviously doomed reverend of the church.  Declan O’Brien, the soon to be disciple of one Mr. Rex, who acts suspiciously even before he become obsessed with the creature, delivering every line of dialogue with unnecessarily long pauses and the shiftiest of eye movements.

Soon Rex makes his first kill at a nearby cottage.  The budget obviously called for little to no special effects, and to illustrate Rex’s ferocity the director mainly chooses the old “pick him up and shake him around a bit” style of murder.  After which the victim always has a smudge of blood on his face or something.  You know, to show he’s deceased.

During this scene he leaves a female survivor, which seems to indicate he is scared of women, but later he picks one up, tears her clothes asunder, and throws her against a tree.  Pfh, men.

When I was getting ready to write a review for “Rawhead Rex,” I stumbled upon some interesting notes about the film at www.Clivebarker.info.  I think, most of all, I was interested in how Barker had meant this to be an almost entirely phallic tale.  See?  Rawhead?   The monster himself was supposed to be a phallus and, thusly, really was supposed to be afraid of women, using his brute strength to terrorize them as a defense mechanism.

What we got instead was a monster movie with a beast looking somewhat like a cross between Bebop from TMNTand the action figure D. Compose from The Inhumanoids, with a little touch of He-Man thrown in.  Apparently, he hates trailer parks, as nearly every victim comes from one.  In Barker’s mind it was supposed to be more figurative.  More or less Rex really was a giant penis.  Can’t see how that didn’t go over well in the developmental stages with old “Alpine Pictures.”  Here’s the short of it.  The subtext in a Clive Barker novel does not translate well to a feature length film.

The acting in this film is beyond terrible.  Every emotion is expressed by yelling.   Declan O’Brien (Ronan Wilmot) is the worst of all.  He screams and growls throughout the film.  Even when he is laughing he seems to actually be screaming.  I am in disbelief he ever found work again.

The filmmakers of this particular piece have nothing to hang their hats on really.  A poor script with poor editing, direction, and acting.  If you have stomach enough to make it through the first 50ish minutes of the film, you will eventually be rewarded with a climax that is so laden with 80s cheese you almost can’t help but enjoy it a little.  There are unnecessary explosions, completely incoherent editing, characters popping out of nowhere for no good reason and the greatest baptism scene put to film.

Of particular ridiculousness is the final showdown with Rex, which involves what I believe is supposed to be a pregnant female idol, representing both sexuality and fertility, but looks a little more like a fossilized dinosaur turd.  One that shoots blue lasers willy-nilly at unsuspecting demon spawns.  If that doesn’t pique your interest, it’s pretty safe to say you can probably pass on Rawhead Rex.

Written by Ryan Venson

30 Days of Night

Starring: Josh Hartnett, Melissa George, Danny Huston Directed by: David Slade

Thanks to Twilight, True Blood, and perhaps even lingering effects of Interview With the Vampire, the pale undead are more sexy than scary, snuggly than snarly.  Able to contain their thirst, sparkle in the daylight, and flash their fangs to charm rather than chew…these vampires are nowhere to be found in 30 Days of Night.

Matching the harsh and wild winter of Barrow, Alaska, the pack of vampires roaming the frozen darkness is more animal than human.  Very few of them speak – mainly their leader Marlow (Danny Huston).  Mostly, they just stalk around with bloodstained chins, scream like tortured bats and attack humans with ravenous abandon.

The premise is simple – in the dead of winter, the sun won't rise in Barrow for a whole month because it is so far up north.  Quite a few people leave town, or at least intend to – including Sheriff Eben Oleson's estranged fire marshall wife Stella (Josh Hartnett and Melissa George, respectively), who has only been in town briefly due to a safety check she had to run in Barrow.

While Eben is out investigating a number of weird occurrences about town – cell phones destroyed, sled dogs murdered en masse, a helicopter vandalized and put out of commission – Stella misses her plane.  Other than a man (Ben Foster) appearing mysteriously in town, acting weird and speaking cryptically of the townsfolk never being able to escape 'them,' no one has a clue what's going on.

Soon enough it becomes clear the remaining citizens of Barrow are meant to be a month-long snack for the group of vampires that has swooped in.  It's never really clear how many vampires there are – perhaps 15-20ish, give or take – but nevertheless too many for the core group of humans to take on.  They have to make several moves throughout the month of darkness to get supplies, switch locations, and basically attempt to keep one step ahead of the vampires.

At nearly two hours, this movie felt like it took 30 days to watch.  Though there are some excellent action scenes – particularly one involving about six ways to kill vampires with a snowplow and ending with an explosion – it is pretty boring.  Visually, dark snowy streets get pretty dull.  Josh Harnett grows gross scraggly facial hair over the course of the movie.  Everyone mostly sits around in their parkas and tries to figure out how to outrun the vampires – not even destroy them, just outrun them to survive until sunrise.

If you:

• Prefer the unfriendly vampire creature to the romantic ones
• Like a movie that moves very slowly to highlight the tension of hiding and fear of discovery

Put it in the queue!

However, if you:

• Are used to the human hero surrounded by vampire constantly working on some type of innovative way to slay the enemy (seriously – the odds were much worse in I Am Legend and he was always pottering around gathering samples, running experiments.  Even the kids in Fright Night did a little plotting and just didn't give the heck up.)
• Like reading, and suspect perusing the original graphic novel might be both more expedient AND more enjoyable

Don't put it in the queue!

Written by Jennifer Venson

Xtro

Starring: Philip Sayer, Simon Nash Directed by: Harry Bromley Davenport

Here’s the tagline for Xtro: “Some extra-terrestrials aren't friendly.”  As this film was released in 1983, less than a year after a certain other extraterrestrial-based film, one starting with an “E” and ending with a “T,” I can only assume this tagline is making reference to its other, slightly more popular, cousin.

Here’s one thing you can be assured of, however, the films bare absolutely no resemblance.

Xtro opens with Sam Phillips (Philip Sayer) and his son Tony (Simon Nash) playing with their dog in the back yard of their vacation cottage on a sunny summer afternoon.  Sam throws a stick up in the air, assumedly so the dog will chase it, although it actually appears as though he is trying to throw it on top of the house.  The stick freezes in mid-air, explodes, the day turns instantly in to night, and Sam is quickly and efficiently abducted by aliens.

As Tony is the only one to witness this affair, it is believed the boy has created a rationalization to deal with his father leaving him and his mother, Rachel (Bernice Stegers).  Everybody is on board with this explanation, from the doctor to the mom to the new boyfriend Joe (Danny Brainin) to the extremely attractive French housekeeper Analise (Maryam D’abo).

However, three years after his disappearance the alien ship reappears, crashing into a forest, and what I can only assume is Tony’s now mutated alien father crawls from the wreckage.  In the brief snippets we get he appears to be a mix between an H.R. Giger painting and Sloth from “The Goonies.”  Except he crab-walks on all fours.

He saunters out to a road, where he is hit by a car.  When the man who hit him gets out to investigate the damage, the alien kills him by licking his eyes.  He then makes his way to the nearest house where he knocks a woman out and impregnates her by placing some sort of tentacled appendage over her mouth.  A few minutes later a fully-grown, completely human Sam Philips crawls out of her womb, bites through his umbilical cord, and goes to steal the dead man’s car.

All of what I have currently explained occurs in the first twenty minutes of the film.

After all those shenanigans occur, there is a marked lull.  This is due to the reintroduction of Sam in to the family, the questions of where he’s been, the obvious unease it causes between Rachel and Joe, and so on and so forth.  I started to become concerned “Xtro” would turn in to a tired mistaken identity film, where everybody believes Sam is Sam, but he’s actually an alien in human’s clothing.  My fears were heightened after Tony catches Sam eating his pet snake’s eggs.

Tony, worried maybe dad is acting a little weird, attempts to run away but Sam catches him in an alley.  He bends down to console his son with a hug, then promptly injects him with alien juice by sucking his shoulder until it becomes a festering pustule of evil.  Later that night, Tony starts to make some of his toys move with his mind.  It appears as though the injected alien juice is displaying itself in young Tony as telekinesis.

And then the film becomes an incomprehensible mess.

Here’s the rundown.  Dad is an alien, the son is a telekinetic who can not only move things with his mind, but can actually turn them to human form, the most prominent of which is a wooden clown that manifests itself in the form of a psychotic midget.  There are plenty of deaths from here on out, some people are simply killed while others are turned in to alien surrogates.

The longer the film runs, the more incoherent it becomes.  The “plot,” such as it is, begins to dissolve into more and more fantastic visuals……it just so happens they are also completely nonsensical. There are just too many ideas, and the paper-thin plot doesn’t even really bother trying to tie them together in any manner.  Yet, for all of its flaws, the direction isn’t bad, the acting is actually pretty good, and the soundtrack is filled with keyboards that sound so 80s you would swear it’s somebody in the year 2011 trying too hard to sound like keyboards from the 80s.

I guess what I’m really trying to say here is, if you are a fan of 80s horror, this is a film YOU HAVE TO SEE.  It makes no difference if it’s incoherent, or low budget, or has some of the absolute worst editing I have ever seen in my entire life.  It simply has to be seen for the pure oddity of it.

Written by Ryan Venson

Frailty

Starring: Bill Paxton, Matt O'Leary, Jeremy Sumpter, Matthew McConaughey Directed by: Bill Paxton

Zombies, vampires, werewolves, cave monsters, demons, ghouls and the like are the typical horror fare.  What's even scarier than that?

Someone with the absolute conviction God speaks to them in a dream and tells them to kill people.  And  even seeks mystically-provided weapons that should be used in carrying out these deeds. Such is the premise of Frailty.

FBI Agent Wesley Doyle (Powers Boothe) receives a visit from a young man (Matthew McConaughey) claiming he has information about the God's Hand Killer (presumably Doyle has been assigned to this serial murderer).  This man, identifying himself as Fenton Meiks, claims his brother Adam is the perpetrator.  He narrates a tale of two young boys in small-town Texas, raised by their widower father (Bill Paxton).  They lived a self-sufficient, quiet life until their father shakes them out of sleep in the middle of the night to announce God has just spoken to him in a dream. This revelation actually includes the whole family – per God, the mission of the three Meiks is to collect three holy weapons to be revealed in the coming days and destroy demons masquerading as humans.

Adam, age 7-ish, embraces the new family enterprise with enthusiasm, while the pre-teen Fenton remains a skeptic.  To his increasing dismay and discomfort, his father soon brings home several items (an axe, gloves and a lead pipe) to carry out the divine mission.  To make matters worse, Fenton's lack of belief in God – much less his father's visions – earns him several punishments the modern perspective might classify as abusive.

Doyle patiently listens to this tale, agreeing to go see the location where Adam's victims are buried.  Fentoncontinues his tale, noting the willingness with which Adam accepts his father's increasingly bizarre revelations – including a list of names of seven demons the Meiks family must destroy.  When their father purchases a utility van and starts bringing home the terrified 'demons,' Fenton cannot hide his revulsion.  Torn between the family he cherishes and his growing horror at their wholehearted belief in this divine mission, Fenton must choose to participate or figure out a way to escape.

Most of the film is spent in the past, centered on the three Meiks and particularly Fenton's dilemma.  I had serious misgivings about this movie before I saw it, but was surprised how much I enjoyed it.  It's not always an easy movie to watch, but definitely rewarding if you like a good thriller.  And the thrills are constantly buried, like mounds of earth covering a grave dug for the Meiks' victims.  You never quite know what demons are on the other side.

If you:

• Have ever wondered if what some dismiss as insanity was actually truth.
• Like a movie where the horror comes more from the psychological aspect than visual gore.
• Like characters with ulterior motives.

Put it in the queue!

If you:

• Are expecting to spend a lot of time ogling Matthew McConaughey
• Believe religion alone is an excuse to terrorize people.
• Don't like movies based on narrated flashbacks.

Don't put it in the queue.

Written by Jennifer Venson

I Sell the Dead

Starring: Dominic Monaghan, Larry Fessenden Directed by: Glenn McQuaid

On the surface, “I Sell the Dead” seems like a can’t miss vehicle.  It’s about two grave robbers, Arthur Blake (Dominic Monaghan) and Willie Grimes (Larry Fessenden).  The two have been “framed” for murder, and after Willie’s execution, Arthur is stuck in his cell with Father Francis Duffy (Ron Perlman), spilling his guts about his wacky grave-robbing high jinks.  Apparently, in Ireland in the mid-1800s, stealing some dead bodies could lead to some loot.

While stealing, and selling, dead bodies, the boys are also occasionally called upon by Dr. Vernon Quint (Angus Scrimm) who, as my understanding goes, blackmails the fellas in to giving him bodies for free lest he go to the local constable and rat them out. My first problem with the film lies here.  Why would anybody ever pay for a dead body if you could just say, “Uh, no, you can give it to me for free, or else I will alert the police.”

Maybe I missed some detailed minutiae explaining that one away.  It’s hard to say since I was in a state of tedium-induced coma throughout most of the film.

Eventually Arthur and Willie dig up a corpse with a stake sticking out of it.  They pull the stake out, only to discover the corpse to be undead, as it limps up and stretches out.  In which case I’m not sure it should be referred to as a corpse.  But you probably get the point.

The duo soon find there is even more money to be made selling the UNdead.  And so it is they fall in to their new line of work as zombie sellers.  Where the term zombie is used loosely to incorporate all undead beings.

This movie has a lot going for it.  A great cast, including Monaghan, horror cult icon Scrimm and even Ron Perlman!  It has a great concept and is currently sitting at 75% on rottentomatoes.com.

The problem with this movie is that it sucks in almost every way conceivable.  When I think of “horror-comedy” I automatically think of “Evil Dead 2” and “Shaun of the Dead,” two of my favorite films.  And they are damn near gut-busters, with a little fright and terror thrown in, and a healthy dose of directorial ingenuity to boot.

Most of “I Sell the Dead” is dialogue leading up to a scene.  Arthur will tell Father Francis in painful detail everything they did leading up to stealing a dead body, which mostly included sitting at the pub and talking about stealing bodies.  Then they go to steal bodies.  Then they steal them.  Nothing funny ever happens, nothing scary ever happens, it really feels as if nothing ever happens.

Take the scene where they find the first undead woman.  They pull at the stake, they get scared and run around a bit, they put the stake back in her and she dies again.  And scene.

It feels like there is a great idea here, they just didn’t know what to do with it.  Most of the scenes really just involve mind-numblingly dull patter between Arthur and Willie.  I guess it’s supposed to be funny, but I don’t know who would find it as such.  It’s simply dialogue.  Mostly talking about drinking or stealing bodies….you know, every day talk between companions.

There’s really nothing here to recommend.  There’s no so-excessive-it’s-silly-gore, there’s no scares, there’s no jokes, there’s very little humor, visual or otherwise.  If you’re looking for a new horror-comedy to see this Halloween, you’d probably be better off watching some unintentionally funny SyFy original.  Like “Hammerhead Shark Frenzy”  or “Pterodactyl.”

Written by Ryan Venson

Attack the Block & Tucker and Dale vs. Evil

attack

tucker

We don't want you to think that we have sold out, only doing big budget, wildly popular films, like Tree of Life. To help out our indie cred, we watched Attack the Block, a British alien invasion movie, and Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, not British, no aliens, but rather hillbillies and a twist on the horror genre. You may have to work a little harder to if you want to watch these movies, but sometimes movies are worth a little extra effort. Don't worry though, we do spend a few minutes talking about Over the Top for those people who like their movies packed with arm wrestling and Kenny Loggins music.

White Zombie

Starring: Bela Lugosi, Madge Bellamy Directed by: Victor Halperin

Zombies.  Often associated with the zombie apocalypse, the result of some horrific virus, or Night of the Living Dead.  Few connect them to Voudou, or to the casual scholar, voodoo. Probably even fewer have seen White Zombie, the 1932 film starring Béla Lugosi (aka Dracula) and some fake facial hair as the evil Murder Legendre, zombie master.

White Zombie, wasn't that a metal band?  Yep.  Lead singer Rob Zombie, who now makes horror films himself, names his band after this movie.  Now on to the plot.

Nearly-weds Neil (John Harron) and Madeline (Madge Bellamy) are to be married in Haiti.  The sound quality of the movie was pretty terrible, so I'm not entirely sure why they were there or why Madge and Charles Beaumont (Robert Frazer) travelled on the same boat and met.  The short version is that Chalres has fallen in love with Madeline, and is willing to take some drastic measures to take her away from Neil.

Even though the local Hatians are terrified of Legendre and his legion of shuffling, unblinking zombies, Charles approaches him and asks for a solution to his romantic dilemma.  Legendre gives him a potion – probably the same stuff Friar Laurence gave to Juliet in ye olde Verona – and tells him to give a few granules to Madeline either in a flower so she will inhale it, or in a cup of wine she will drink.

Madeline gets a whiff of the potion, then goes to tell her new hubby's future in a cup of wine later that evening.  At which point she's confronted with the creepy eyes of Legendre.  Staring at her in a cup of red wine.  Which really isn't a bad special effect for 1932.

This “living dead girl” is buried (without even getting for formally consummate her marriage, poor thing), though spirited away by Legendre and Charles shortly thereafter.  Is Charles happy now?  Um, no.  Though she still can wander about Legendre's castle (conveniently located on a cliff high above some point rocks and rough water) with a vapid stare and play "Libestraum" on the piano for everyone's enjoyment, Charles is not satisfied.

While Charles whines, Neil and the local minister (Joseph Cawthorne) hatch a plot to go rescue Madeline (given she is squirreled away in Legendre's castle).   When they get there, many shenanigans ensue.

Is the movie kind of goofy?  Of course.  Does it seem like the only requirement for playing Madeline is to have huge eyes?  Sure.  Does is appear that Mr. Lugosi has furry caterpillars masquerading as his eyebrows and a very strange beard?  You bet your bottom dollar.  Is this a decent way to spend an hour?  Oh yeah.

If you:

• Like film history
• Need something to discuss with Rob Zombie, should you even meet him
• Are a little bit obsessed with zombies/necromancy

Put it in the queue!

However, if you:

• Think zombies need to be half rotted and hungry for brains to be entertaining

You may be right.  But that doesn't mean you shouldn't put it White Zombie in the queue anyway.  It's only an hour long!!

Written by Jennifer Venson

A Tale of Two Sisters

Starring: Kap-su Kim, Jung-ah Yum, Su-jeong Lim, Geun-Young Moon Directed by: Jee-woon Kim

A Tale of Two Sisters is about, well, two sisters.  They travel to their home after what seems like some time away in a hospital to live there with their father and stepmother.  Or maybe it’s just his lover.  I’m not sure it’s ever expressly spelled out.  While there, some weird shit happens.

*sigh*

Look, I know, at this point, how a movie review is supposed to go.  I’m supposed to give a succinct synopsis about the film’s plot to whet your appetite, so you know whether or not you are interested in viewing it based on your taste in film.  After said synopsis, I am to give you my opinion on the film, ranging from entertainment value, plot, script, dialogue, and technical aspects, including, but not limited to, direction, cinematography, and special effects.

Here’s the thing about A Tale of Two Sisters, which illustrates a reoccurring problem in horror/thrillers.  After sitting through the film, I felt as though I had seen it before. In order to try and give a plot synopsis I would probably need to trot out the rote “it’s hard to give you a summary without ruining the twists in the film” cliché.

The film shares so many aspects with films like The Ring or The Grudge or The Sixth Sense or The Others or Identity or a number of other films I won’t name here because it is too much like them and would give away the plot of the entire film, that I don’t know how, if you watched it today, you could help but come away feeling as though you’ve already seen it.  You know, the old, “things are not as they seem” angle.

And while I understand this film came out either before many of those films or around the same time as many of those films, it doesn’t change the fact I didn’t see it until after I had seen ALL of those films, as well as many others similar ones, and if you are reading this review looking for guidance as to what to watch this Halloween season, you have probably seen a great many of them as well.

It isn’t to say the film is poorly made.  It’s well acted and directed, if a bit overlong, but, again, I had already guessed both of the twists well before they happened based on some clues I may not have picked up had I not seen films so similar.  This may allow me to give the plotters and scriptwriters pats on the backs for being properly subtle without repeat viewings, but to already know what’s coming in a film built around the emotional resonance you are to feel when the surprises in plot are revealed leaves the rest of the film feeling a bit flat.

It’s a recommendable film if you are a horror/thriller fan, with the caveat being you are a horror/thriller fan who hasn’t seen most of the best horror/thrillers filmed in the past decade plus.

Written by Ryan Venson

Isolation

Starring: Essie Davis, Sean Harris Directed by: Billy O'Brien

As last year's October reviews included the ever-popular Black Sheep, I wanted to make sure this year's batch had sufficient representation of mutant livestock flicks with Isolation.

This movie's first fault is spending pretty much no time on setup, other than a shady bovine geneticist is running the experiment. Its second fault is spending far too long on a calf birthing scene.  I’ll be the first to admit I know nothing about animal husbandry, but the idea of swinging a newborn calf around one's head in a circle to get it to start breathing seems ludicrous. Apparently the calf didn't like it either, as it immediately bit off the caretaker's finger.

For safety's sake, the vet puts the calf down and decides to do an impromptu dissection.  Inside they find enlarged organs as well as spiny little mutant fetuses encased in the calf's wombs.  This experiment in highly accelerated bovine reproduction has already been a crashing failure – plus the vet warns there may be danger of infection.

It just gets better when one of the exoskeletal monsters slithers off the table and into a grand adventure of exponential growth. Sadly, the critter can't wreak much entertaining havoc when there are only four people – two of which have already been bitten – on the farm.

If you:

• Need an excuse to consider becoming a vegetarian
• Aim to reinforce a deep mistrust of what Patton Oswalt refers to as "Science:  coulda, not shoulda"
• Need a cheesy monster thriller fix and are stranded without Syfy or a copy of  Mosquito

Put it in the queue!

If you:

• Prefer filmmakers to actually put some effort into their monsters and have some pride in their craft rather than just showing some half-ass, fast-moving, partially visible critter
• Like continuous action
• Think a film ridiculous enough to have mutant cow fetuses running around feeding on cows and humans in order to rapidly grow should also include some creatively over-the-top death scenes

You will be very disappointed.  Don't put it in the queue

Written by Jennifer Venson

Hush

Starring: William Ash, Christine Bottomley Directed by: Mark Tonderai

The movie Hush is a lot of things.  Low-budget.  Absurd.  Scary.  Suspenseful.  Cat and Mouse. British.  Gritty.

But, above all, Hush is a movie you have probably seen before.

Hush starts with couple Beth and Zakes (No, really, it’s Zakes.  I checked IMDB as I was watching the film, thinking I was mistaking his thick accent.  No sir, I was not.) on a road trip.  Zakes has the unenviable job of being the guy who changes the posters on the walls at gas stations and rest stops.  In order to prove his job complete, he takes a picture of each one with Beth’s phone.

On the way to their eventual (somewhat ambiguous) destination, a cargo truck cuts in front of them.  As it does so the back door flies open for a fleeting second and Zakes sees a woman tied up in a cage.  After calling the police Zakes pulls over to make the next stop on his job route.

He and Beth have a bit of a falling out at this particular stop, and Beth contends she will simply call her friend Sarah to come pick her up.  Zakes stalks out to the car to pout and wait for Beth to change her mind.  Meanwhile Beth is, of course, busy getting kidnapped by the cargo truck driver who has just happened to stop at the same location.

Zakes realizes all this and speeds after our antagonist in a stolen car as the game of cat and mouse begins.  If all of this sounds hauntingly familiar that’s, quite frankly, because it is.  In plot it is very similar to films like The Hitcher, or Breakdown, or Joy Ride, or Duel, or even something like Wolf Creek or Wrong Turn.  But more than anything it reminds me of a little film called High Tension, a pitch perfect French horror/thriller that completely craps itself in the final act.

Luckily, though, Hush doesn’t fall victim to the same contrivances.  Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of familiar “He would never do that!” or “Why would he do that?!” or “No way in hell could he kick that out so easy!” devices, but they all play out with just enough of a twist and more than enough directorially infused suspense.

And at a budget of only $1,000,000 (well, actually, pounds, but I can’t find the pound insignia) the direction in this film is well above average.  Almost every scene is gritty and taught, and there are a couple unexpected set pieces.  In addition gore is kept to a bare minimum.  The acting is nothing to scoff at either, but movies where your primary function is to yell and drive, you don’t exactly have to be Bill Paxton.  Or maybe you have to be almost exactly like Bill Paxton.  Depending on what you think about Bill Paxton, I suppose.

In the end, for a low-budget, straight to video, familiarly-plotted film, this is a very recommendable piece of work.  While nothing remarkable, almost every aspect is well above the average of similar, larger-budgeted Hollywood productions.

Written by Ryan Venson

Night of the Demons (2010)

Starring: Monica Keena, Shannon Elizabeth, Edward Furlong Directed by: Adam Gierasch

Last year we started the Halloween festivities with a review of an old movie (Fright Night), which has since been re-made and released this year.  This year we start with the remake of Night of the Demons.

What's in the cauldron for this film?  Take an old legend about six missing guests and a suicidal hostess all last seen together in a creepy old plantation house (surprisingly well-depicted with a scratchy sepia-and-beige silent film-style flashback), a bunch of modern twentysomethings ready to go party down, and mix in Halloween.  Throw a trio of nobody actresses into the mix (two parts trampy and one average 'everygirl') two male stoners (one hot, one not), a has-been actor (Eddie Furlong as Colin) and a stereotypical hot chick actress (Shannon Elizabeth as Angela).

Here you have Night of the Demons. A wild Halloween party engineered by Angela (and attended by the six others mentioned above) gets shut down by the police.   For ridiculous reasons – a friend passed out behind the sofa, needing to retrieve some drugs that urgently need to be sold from the furnace duct in which they were shoved when the cops showed up – our main characters are among the last to leave the house.  Then a locked outer gate that can't be opened from the inside provides a thinly-veiled excuse for all seven of them to spend Halloween night in this haunted house.

While searching for dealer Colin's drug packets, the group stumbles upon a grouping of six skeletons placed in a circle in a hidden room in the cellar.  They theorize these could be the missing guests from the legend surrounding this rented house.  Angela bends down to inspect a strange glowing object on one of the skeletons…and it bites her.

And then things start to get weird.

Turns out the former owner of this home was contacting the spirit world and accidentally unleashed seven demons who are all big jerks and can only re-enter this world if they possess seven humans on Halloween night.  The gang's all here, and Angela's ready to start a demon party.

The shenanigans involved in turning the stranded partygoers into demons – generally biting or sex – are actually a little disturbing.  One of the most cinematically interesting scenes in the movie (in terms of lighting, mood and use of levitation) is a demon-turning to the tune of "Black No. 1" by Type O Negative.

For a while, it seems this movie might buck the usual 'last one standing' theme in scary films.  In fact, the movie drags a bit during the standoff between the three humans safe – yet trapped – in a magically protective room, but then the balance – or rather, imbalance – between evil and good is restored.

Overall, rather a diamond in the rough among the horror fare available for instant viewing.

If you:

• Like a rocking soundtrack to your scary movies
• Feel like ogling some hot chicks in skimpy cat costumes (until they turn into hell beasts with a taste for blood, a Skeletor face and/or slimy tentacles they can shoot from their boobs).
• Have about an hour and a half to spare for a B movie that has a moderately decent plot and special effects

Put it in the queue!

However, if you:

• Cherish your memories of the 1990s Eddie Furlong and would be crushed to see him looking more like Fat Elvis than young John Connor.
• Prefer your B movies to only be stupendously bad enough to be good (i.e. nothing of merit except sheer ridiculousness).
• Will only tolerate creepy orchestral/organ music in your scary films instead of punk and metal.

Don’t put it in the queue!

Written by: Jennifer Venson

Real Steel

Directed by: Shawn Levy Starring: Hugh Jackman, Dakota Goyo

Summer’s end is fast approaching, and soon the award season will take over your local cinema. Low and behold a movie arrives and tries to push the sun back into the sky and gives us one more summer blockbuster. Of course I am talking about Real Steel, and while its status as a blockbuster is yet to be seen, this movie definitely fulfills the role of a summer movie.

Many people I know have already referred to Real Steel as the “Rock’em Sock’em Robots” movie, and while this isn’t far from the truth, the story does have a little more meat. To fulfill the people’s constant desire for destruction and violence, robot fighting was developed.  The casualties of the ultra-popular new sport, besides the losing robots, are the human fighters who once thrived. In walks our star, a washed up boxer and now failing owner of a robot fighter, Charlie Kenton (Jackman). Charlie finds out that a girl he knocked up has recently died, and that he must assume responsibility for his young son, Max.

First, let’s talk about what is wrong with this movie. My biggest complaint is that a movie about fighting robots shouldn’t be 127 minutes long. I don’t care if you are trying to develop a story; a movie of this ilk overstays its welcome around 100 minutes. Next, we have not yet developed the ability to insert the fine acting chops of Daniel Day Lewis into a child, so instead we have to watch inexperienced children on screen, and while this is a sometimes fine, there are other times when it is annoying as hell. Still my complaints are meager at best.

Real Steel is fun - not amazing, not life changing, but fun. The effects are impressive and the fight scenes are exciting. The heavy lifting done in this film is achieved Hugh Jackman, as a broken man looking for redemption not only for his child but also for himself. While the movie becomes cliché in a few places, it also manages to sidestep many of the Hollywood trappings. In the end the story feels inspired more by  Rocky than Transformers.

What I was most surprised by in Real Steel was how beautiful it was to watch. The movie plays like a love letter to America. In following Kenton from small town fairs to big city fights, every location is thick with color and gives off an entirely classic feel to a film driven by technology. While the story hints at a handful of things that man lost with the advancement of technology, the cinematography shows us a world that, while still in existence, seems to be fading from our memories.

As I am writing this piece, Rottentomatoes.com has yet to post a single review yet for Real Steel. I don’t know how the reviews will turn out when everything is said and done. I am grateful that I was able to watch and enjoy this movie before too many people told me that I shouldn’t. I can’t guarantee that you will like Real Steel, but maybe, if you let it, Real Steel could surprise you.

Written by Drew Martin

Cowboys and Aliens, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Dream Home

cowboys

apes

I know it has been a long time since we posted a show, but Ryan is just now recovering from Cowboys and Aliens. I think you will find that this show was worth the wait. Where else are you going to find out about Dream Home? Ebert? Not likely. You also get a little ape action too. This is a fine show with which to say "goodbye" to the summer. Enjoy

Hotel Rwanda

Starring: Don Cheadle, Sophie Okonedo Directed by: Terry George

Nearly a year ago, I went to the National Underground Railroad Freedom Museum in downtown Cincinnati to seen an exhibit on terrorism and the US.  There were other exhibits as well, including one on the types of human trafficking and slavery existing in the world today – including a section on the actions we all can take to help stop the problem.  Writing letters, being very careful to not buy good from companies that use slave labor and making donations tocertain rescue organizations were among the suggestions.   My quarrel with the exhibit is that they didn’t really address the underlying problem.  Until the willingness of people to exploit other human beings for profit ceases to exist, it will continue in one form or another.

I'm not saying it's fruitless to make donations, be mindful of where companies source their labor, or even hope that someday there will be no human trafficking.  The moral of the story is people can control how they treat others if they have enough courage to be a good person when it's easier to turn the other way.

Hotel Rwanda focuses on Paul Rusesabagina (Don Cheadle), a successful and charming hotel manager.  His job focuses on making guests feel as though they are in an "oasis" of calm and civility, even though there is serious political unrest.  Fine single malt Scotch, Cuban Cohiba cigars, attentive staff and loads of Heineken are the tools he plies to ensure his beverage supplier and ranking United Nations guests are compliant and happy under his watch.  His political status as a Hutu keeps him in good social standing, particularly as the Hutu are in conflict with a rebel militia from the Tutsi party.  An old grudge over political power during the Belgian colonial years has not gone away, and the Hutu are spoiling for a reason to skirmish.

That reason comes sooner rather than later with the assassination of the Hutu president.  Paul's Tutsi wife Tatiana (Sophie Okonedo) and neighbors are immediately at risk; he barely manages to bribe a group of Hutu soldiers with enough personal belongings and money from the hotel safe into leaving them alive at the hotel he manages. Chaos continues to break out around the city as Hutu militants capture and kill 'Tutsi cockroaches' under the guise of searching for rebels – but really out of sheer hatred.

Paul remains responsible for entertaining UN peacekeepers, journalists and European travelers, charged with keeping up the façade of civility while innocent people are being beaten and killed in their homes less than a mile away.  Even video footage of the atrocities and arrival of UN soldiers is no relief to the Rwandan refugees. Colonel Oliver (Nick Nolte) angrily informs Paul that global racism dictates only the European-born will be rescued – the black African refugees will be left to fend for themselves.

Drawing on his intelligence and creativity, Paul manages to sidestep an attempted Hutu raid and rallies those compatriots with sufficient connections and resources to find ways out of the country.  All the while he continues to take in displaced people and negotiate with both the UN soldiers and Tutsi militia.  Though his life is often in danger and political status evolves into 'traitor,' Paul refuses to turn his back on the displaced Rwandans.

Inspiring isn't really a robust enough word to describe this film.  Simply, it showcases humanity at its best and worst.  Best in Paul, who isn’t a completely selfless crusader.  He's a regular guy who doesn't intend to become a hero…he just keeps choosing to open his heart and use the power and resources to which he has access to do good.  Don Cheadle does a phenomenal job of portraying a conflicted man – one who has worked very hard to build his reputation and provide notable UN guests with the best personalized treatment, only to be labeled a traitor and refused help by the dignitaries he served because his skin color and nationality were not the right kind.  He struggles to summon the resources to protect so many refugees, but neither can he turn away in good conscience.  Worst are the militants willing to indiscriminately kill people because of their ethnic background, even though they cannot really get the revenge they seek for injustices of the past.

If you:

• Like Don Cheadle
• Need some suggestions for doing good deeds (like supporting the Red Cross, taking in those who need shelter, adopting an orphan or using your influential connections to call off machete-wielding bad guys)
• Like to believe there is some good in the world

Put it in the queue!

If you

• Are an intolerant, racist, prejudiced, bigoted jerk looking for revenge ideas

Don't put it in the queue.

Written by Jennifer Venson

The Lives of Others

Written and Directed by: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck

Drew sent me “The Lives of Others” for his new project called Play It Forward. I’m really excited about this project (even though it’s been a while since he sent me the movie - sorry!) and can’t wait to start reading other reviews as they come in.  I’m looking at you lil’molly!

“The Lives of Others” is a German film set in 1984 East Berlin. So, picture a grey, depressed city with an ominous sense of dread in the air. The Stasi, or State Secret Police, keep everything under strict surveillance and have a professed mission “to know everything.” Not pleasant. The movie focuses on three characters, a Stasi policeman, a famous playwright, and the playwright’s girlfriend - a famous actress.

I loved the way the settings and color match the mood and personalities of the characters in this movie. Wiesler, the Stasi policeman is a stoic, methodical, and diligent character. The film reflects his personality by always surrounding him with a simple, monochromatic setting.  He’s like a machine. Dreyman, the playwright, and Christa-Maria, his actress girlfriend, are the complete opposite. They’re artists and lovers who are trusting and playful. Their lives are portrayed with warm brown and tan colors. As the characters become more affected by one another, these colors and settings begin to mix more and more.

The plot: Wiesler becomes suspicious of Dreyman and is told to monitor his apartment. He listens and records Dreyman’s life, looking for any evidence of disloyalty. However, as he listens, he begins to feel more empathy for Dreyman’s situation. One of Dreyman’s friends, a blacklisted director, commits suicide which prompts Dreyman to voice his growing unease about East Germany in an article published in the West under a pseudonym. Of course, the Stasi aren’t happy about this article and make every effort to try and find out who wrote it. Wiesler, having become more aware of his own loneliness and unhappiness is forced to either hide what he knows about Dreyman, or turn him in.

I was struck by the evolution of Wiesler’s character throughout the film. After the blacklisted director kills himself, there’s an amazing scene where Dreyman is playing a piece of piano music that the director had given him shortly before his death. The piece, called “Sonata for a Good Man,” beautifully captures the despair and sadness of the moment. Wiesler, becomes visibly affected by it and begins to cry while Dreyman says to his girlfriend, “Can anyone who has heard this music, I mean truly heard it, really be a bad person?” That, and other poignant moments in the film show Wiesler as he awakens to the world around him, his ideals challenged. I don’t want to write too much more about the story because it’s a thriller, and let’s just say, it has a great ending.

I definitely recommend this movie to anyone who loves a dramatic, historical movie, with amazing character development. The visuals and sound design are also incredible. The second time I watched this film, I plugged in my good headphones and was really impressed by the precision of the sound and soundtrack.

At 2 hours 17 minutes, it’s not an quick watch, but The Lives of Others is a beautiful portrait of humanity in a dark period of recent history.

-Chad Jewsbury Chicago, IL

Freeze Frame

Starring: Lee Evans, Rachael Stirling Directed by: John Simpson

Freeze Frame is the story of a man accused, wrongfully, he contends, of a triple murder.  The case is dismissed due to lack of evidence, so the accused, Sean Veil, does what any rational person would do.  He starts to tape himself 24 hours a day to assure if he is ever again accused of such a crime, he will have the evidence with which to exonerate himself.

He has cameras in his bedroom, his foyer, outside his door, cameras in the room where he monitors the cameras, even cameras in the loo.  When he leaves the house he straps a giant camera to his chest.  Questions like, “What in the hell does he do when he goes to work?” aren’t really bothered with.

Eventually Detective Louis Emeric and Forensic Profiler Saul Seger, the duo responsible for accusing Veil of the original crime, make another appearance at Veil’s house.  They want to know where he was on a specific date in the middle of October five years ago.  They have found a dead body and believe Veil to be the culprit yet again.

Lucky for Veil, he keeps tapes of all day every day in a giant vault, all he will have to do is retrieve the night in question.  But, lo and behold, when he goes to collect them the night in question has disappeared.  Veil escapes the police through a trap door and spends the rest of the film trying to clear his name.

Lee Evans does a fantastic job as Veil, a neurotic, tightly wound paranoid who keeps you guessing about his innocence until the final frame.  The direction is solid, and nicely balances a mix of film and “documented” footage.

That’s about where the niceties of this particular film end.  The supporting cast are mostly a mediocre lot, although I’m unsure how much is their fault and how much is poor scripting.  The main portion of the plot, Veil’s 24-hour surveillance of himself, which seems engaging and original, quickly turns in to more of an afterthought.  It starts as a way to examine the psyche of our (anti?) hero, only to quickly devolve into a vehicle by which the characters in the film can explain things they would never usually have any way to explain.

The plot spends so much time focusing on Veil and so little time focusing on either of the crimes that, by the time it comes to reveal whodunit, the filmmakers have to resort to one of the worst story devices in order to clarify the convoluted plot:  Just have somebody sit down and explain it for no apparent reason.

I was pretty engrossed in this film for the better part of an hour, despite some plotting that seemed a little forced.  Then, when the final act comes , the explanation is illogical, the acting is wooden, and the dialogue is forced and stilted, but mostly because it was written that way and not because the actors aren’t trying their damndest.  It is most unfortunate as an intriguing premise and a great lead performance are wasted.

Written by Ryan Venson