Night of the Demons (2010)

Starring: Monica Keena, Shannon Elizabeth, Edward Furlong Directed by: Adam Gierasch

Last year we started the Halloween festivities with a review of an old movie (Fright Night), which has since been re-made and released this year.  This year we start with the remake of Night of the Demons.

What's in the cauldron for this film?  Take an old legend about six missing guests and a suicidal hostess all last seen together in a creepy old plantation house (surprisingly well-depicted with a scratchy sepia-and-beige silent film-style flashback), a bunch of modern twentysomethings ready to go party down, and mix in Halloween.  Throw a trio of nobody actresses into the mix (two parts trampy and one average 'everygirl') two male stoners (one hot, one not), a has-been actor (Eddie Furlong as Colin) and a stereotypical hot chick actress (Shannon Elizabeth as Angela).

Here you have Night of the Demons. A wild Halloween party engineered by Angela (and attended by the six others mentioned above) gets shut down by the police.   For ridiculous reasons – a friend passed out behind the sofa, needing to retrieve some drugs that urgently need to be sold from the furnace duct in which they were shoved when the cops showed up – our main characters are among the last to leave the house.  Then a locked outer gate that can't be opened from the inside provides a thinly-veiled excuse for all seven of them to spend Halloween night in this haunted house.

While searching for dealer Colin's drug packets, the group stumbles upon a grouping of six skeletons placed in a circle in a hidden room in the cellar.  They theorize these could be the missing guests from the legend surrounding this rented house.  Angela bends down to inspect a strange glowing object on one of the skeletons…and it bites her.

And then things start to get weird.

Turns out the former owner of this home was contacting the spirit world and accidentally unleashed seven demons who are all big jerks and can only re-enter this world if they possess seven humans on Halloween night.  The gang's all here, and Angela's ready to start a demon party.

The shenanigans involved in turning the stranded partygoers into demons – generally biting or sex – are actually a little disturbing.  One of the most cinematically interesting scenes in the movie (in terms of lighting, mood and use of levitation) is a demon-turning to the tune of "Black No. 1" by Type O Negative.

For a while, it seems this movie might buck the usual 'last one standing' theme in scary films.  In fact, the movie drags a bit during the standoff between the three humans safe – yet trapped – in a magically protective room, but then the balance – or rather, imbalance – between evil and good is restored.

Overall, rather a diamond in the rough among the horror fare available for instant viewing.

If you:

• Like a rocking soundtrack to your scary movies
• Feel like ogling some hot chicks in skimpy cat costumes (until they turn into hell beasts with a taste for blood, a Skeletor face and/or slimy tentacles they can shoot from their boobs).
• Have about an hour and a half to spare for a B movie that has a moderately decent plot and special effects

Put it in the queue!

However, if you:

• Cherish your memories of the 1990s Eddie Furlong and would be crushed to see him looking more like Fat Elvis than young John Connor.
• Prefer your B movies to only be stupendously bad enough to be good (i.e. nothing of merit except sheer ridiculousness).
• Will only tolerate creepy orchestral/organ music in your scary films instead of punk and metal.

Don’t put it in the queue!

Written by: Jennifer Venson

Hotel Rwanda

Starring: Don Cheadle, Sophie Okonedo Directed by: Terry George

Nearly a year ago, I went to the National Underground Railroad Freedom Museum in downtown Cincinnati to seen an exhibit on terrorism and the US.  There were other exhibits as well, including one on the types of human trafficking and slavery existing in the world today – including a section on the actions we all can take to help stop the problem.  Writing letters, being very careful to not buy good from companies that use slave labor and making donations tocertain rescue organizations were among the suggestions.   My quarrel with the exhibit is that they didn’t really address the underlying problem.  Until the willingness of people to exploit other human beings for profit ceases to exist, it will continue in one form or another.

I'm not saying it's fruitless to make donations, be mindful of where companies source their labor, or even hope that someday there will be no human trafficking.  The moral of the story is people can control how they treat others if they have enough courage to be a good person when it's easier to turn the other way.

Hotel Rwanda focuses on Paul Rusesabagina (Don Cheadle), a successful and charming hotel manager.  His job focuses on making guests feel as though they are in an "oasis" of calm and civility, even though there is serious political unrest.  Fine single malt Scotch, Cuban Cohiba cigars, attentive staff and loads of Heineken are the tools he plies to ensure his beverage supplier and ranking United Nations guests are compliant and happy under his watch.  His political status as a Hutu keeps him in good social standing, particularly as the Hutu are in conflict with a rebel militia from the Tutsi party.  An old grudge over political power during the Belgian colonial years has not gone away, and the Hutu are spoiling for a reason to skirmish.

That reason comes sooner rather than later with the assassination of the Hutu president.  Paul's Tutsi wife Tatiana (Sophie Okonedo) and neighbors are immediately at risk; he barely manages to bribe a group of Hutu soldiers with enough personal belongings and money from the hotel safe into leaving them alive at the hotel he manages. Chaos continues to break out around the city as Hutu militants capture and kill 'Tutsi cockroaches' under the guise of searching for rebels – but really out of sheer hatred.

Paul remains responsible for entertaining UN peacekeepers, journalists and European travelers, charged with keeping up the façade of civility while innocent people are being beaten and killed in their homes less than a mile away.  Even video footage of the atrocities and arrival of UN soldiers is no relief to the Rwandan refugees. Colonel Oliver (Nick Nolte) angrily informs Paul that global racism dictates only the European-born will be rescued – the black African refugees will be left to fend for themselves.

Drawing on his intelligence and creativity, Paul manages to sidestep an attempted Hutu raid and rallies those compatriots with sufficient connections and resources to find ways out of the country.  All the while he continues to take in displaced people and negotiate with both the UN soldiers and Tutsi militia.  Though his life is often in danger and political status evolves into 'traitor,' Paul refuses to turn his back on the displaced Rwandans.

Inspiring isn't really a robust enough word to describe this film.  Simply, it showcases humanity at its best and worst.  Best in Paul, who isn’t a completely selfless crusader.  He's a regular guy who doesn't intend to become a hero…he just keeps choosing to open his heart and use the power and resources to which he has access to do good.  Don Cheadle does a phenomenal job of portraying a conflicted man – one who has worked very hard to build his reputation and provide notable UN guests with the best personalized treatment, only to be labeled a traitor and refused help by the dignitaries he served because his skin color and nationality were not the right kind.  He struggles to summon the resources to protect so many refugees, but neither can he turn away in good conscience.  Worst are the militants willing to indiscriminately kill people because of their ethnic background, even though they cannot really get the revenge they seek for injustices of the past.

If you:

• Like Don Cheadle
• Need some suggestions for doing good deeds (like supporting the Red Cross, taking in those who need shelter, adopting an orphan or using your influential connections to call off machete-wielding bad guys)
• Like to believe there is some good in the world

Put it in the queue!

If you

• Are an intolerant, racist, prejudiced, bigoted jerk looking for revenge ideas

Don't put it in the queue.

Written by Jennifer Venson

Red

Starring: Irène Jacob, Jean-Louis Trintignant Directed by: Krzysztof Kieslowski

Of the Trois Couleurs trilogy, I do believe Krzysztof Kieslowski saved the best for last.

Red is powerful because it is understated and deliberate.  Normally red signifies power, fire, passion…bold forces that impetuously sweep through with sound and fury (such as Dominique from White).   The main storyline in Red actually unfolds very simply.

Valentine (Irène Jacobs) meets an older man (Jean-Louis Trintignant) with a seemingly indifferent outlook on everything after she accidentally hits his dog with her car.   He tells her to keep the dog, but it ends up running away from her in the park and leading her back to him.  The bond that develops between Valentine and this man – a former judge – is very subtle.  It develops over time, like a Polaroid photo, rather than emerging in a flash.

Red explores other types of relationships – shades of romantic, familial – but primarily at a distance. Valentine's boyfriend is traveling abroad, so their only connection is through a phone calls.  The Judge listens in on his neighbors' calls, which contain both conversations with illicit lovers as well as conversations between a young couple who are very important to the storyline as well without even knowing it.

Even more than the other two films in this trilogy, Red really stood out as artistically spectacular, particularly in visual composition:

• Lighting: the sun through a window, the sunrise through a gate, traffic lights blurring against the night, spotlights highlighting models on the catwalk, silhouettes in the dark.
• The storyline of Valentine's neighbor Auguste (Jean-Pierre Lorit), often in her periphery but an integral part of the overarching tale.
• Valentine herself as both glamorously poised and emotionally vulnerable, bringing a different kind of beauty to both.

I wonder if this movie would have been as good if I hadn't seen the other two.  I certainly wouldn't have found the ending quite as entertaining, but I can't say for sure if the context is really necessary.

Overall, I would like to thank Daniel Ferreiro for insisting that I watch these films.  Even if I did not love Blue, I certainly did like White quite a bit and absolutely loved Red.

If you:

• Like a story within a story
• Like visually striking cinematography
• Like the idea of a non-traditional love story

Put it in the queue!

If you:

• Don't like symbolism
• Need a drama to be REALLY dramatic
• Don't like dogs

Don't put it in the queue.

Written by Jennifer Venson

Sherlock Holmes

Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law, Rachel McAdams Directed by: Guy Ritchie

Not having read many of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes stories, I normally picture the eccentric and brilliant sleuth as an introspective, pipe smoking, violin playing guy who doesn't do much else than solve crimes in his deerstalker hat and hang out in his study.

Certainly I was among those who saw trailers of Sherlock Holmes featuring action sequences, including the hero himself using carefully calculated ninja skills, taking out the bad guys, diving out of windows being in near proximity to explosions.  I approached the movie with caution – interested, but unsure it would really deliver.

The most surprising part of the movie was the acting.  Robert Downey Jr. was completely amazing as a Sherlock Holmes who is physically as well as mentally sharp, a complete disaster that can pull himself together to be a charmer in short order, and all with a wonderfully dry sense of humor. Basically, he adapted Sherlock Holmes to be Robert Downey Jr.

Jude Law undergoes a more impressive transformation playing Watson.  This is the first movie I can think of where he hasn't been a womanizing dandy – he's somewhat romantically awkward as Watson, Holmes' partner in crime-solving adventures.

The storyline is a bit mediocre, or at least very typical of ye old late 19^th century/early 20^th century British literature.  (For the record, I have been on quite an Agatha Christie kick lately, and she also uses some similar devices).   Immediately as the movie starts, Holmes and Watson capture a fellow who fancies himself a sorcerer and is about to offer up a female sacrifice.  He is carted off to jail, hanged and buried…and then busts out of his tomb. Literally.

With the seemingly supernatural Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong) on the loose and threatening to take over the world, the game is afoot.  The film is stuffed with a secret society, a mysterious and not quite trustworthy former flame (Rachel McAdams) of Sherlock's who returns to both confound the detecting process and offer some clues, and evidence that makes no sense until Sherlock explains it.

Visually, the movie is interesting.  My favorite scenes are those illustrating Sherlock as he is in the middle of an action sequence, and the audience is treated to a snapshot of his thinking through the next four or five hits necessary to knock out or 'neutralize' the target. Similarly, scenes when he analyzes a person – such as Watson's lady friend – are hilarious. The action sequences are believable – Sherlock has some chops, but within reasonable limits.

In short, I am very much looking forward to the sequel.\

If you:

• Like an action film with a brain
• Like a good mystery
• Like Robert Downey Jr.

Put it in the queue!

If you:

• Prefer a more scholarly Sherlock
• Prefer a more seductive Jude Law
• Are unduly irritated when you can't figure out a mystery as the clues are being revealed (i.e. you can't deduce as well as the detective)

Don't put it in the queue.

Written by Jennifer Venson

The Exterminating Angel

Starring: Silvia Pinal, Jacqueline Andere, Enrique Rambal

Directed by: Luis Buñuel

What does it take to strip away the trappings of civility and reveal the true nature of people?  The Exterminating Angel (El Ángel Exterminador) attempts to do this by showing just how thick – or maybe how thinly – humans lay on the social graces.  The premise is simple: a wealthy couple invites 10-15 of their friends over for a dinner party.  Before and during the party, most of the servants find excuses to leave the house, ultimately leaving only one butler.

This isn’t really the problem, however.  Once the guests retire to the parlor to chat, play the piano, sing and generally socialize, they can’t seem to make their way out of the room.  Several attempt, but then get sidetracked as soon as they approach the threshold.

What follows over the next week or so is pretty much a sociology experiment. How do the hosts respond to their guests far overstaying their welcome past the respectable social hour?  Will the guests understand forces out of their control are at work, or will they blame their hosts? How will the engaged couple trapped in the room deal with the delay of their wedding?  How will the guests react to the illness of a guest with a heart condition?  How will these pampered socialites deal with hunger, thirst, temptations and the inability to have all their immediate needs met by servants – especially after the one remaining butler gets stuck in the enchanted room as well?

These and other key questions are answered. It’s almost like the Real World of the privileged class – the audience waits for the group to stop being polite and start being real so we can watch the train wreck.  However, the movie also generally questions how ‘civilized’ are we in the first place, especially as it only takes a relatively short period of irritation to blow up at each other and a proper society matron carries around chicken feet in her handbag just because she had the feeling occult talismans might be needed at a dinner party.

If you:

·         Like existential literature/film.

·         Like to ponder symbolism and philosophical elements in film.

·         Like reality shows that stuff a bunch of vaguely associated people together in close quarters just to see them have meltdowns

Put it in the queue!

However, if you:

·         Prefer a more action-packed film

·         Are not interested in watching a sociology experiment because Lord of the Flies was convincing enough for you

·         Are creeped out by people letting unusual pets (i.e. sheep) roam about the house

Don’t put it in the queue.

Written by Jennifer Venson

White

While I was watching White, I tried to pay more attention to the color symbolism, etc. than I did in Blue.  I do not really think this played a strong factor in my enjoyment of the film.  However, I did like White much better because it was a comedy (albeit a dark one at that). Karol (Zbigniew Zamachowski) is having a really bad day.  He has a summons to appear at court, gets splattered by an errant pigeon on his way to the courtroom, and then his wife divorces him for failure to consummate the marriage.  Struggling through the proceedings with a translator because the Polish Karol does not speak strong French, shamed by his ex-wife (who says she doesn’t love him anymore because he couldn’t get it up after they were married) and denied his request for more time, Karol is – no pun intended – screwed.

His ex-wife Dominique (Julie Delpy) has the apartment, the salon they co-own, and the money he had in the bank.  Left only with a moderately-sized trunk of his belongings and completely unrequited love for his ex-wife, Karol starts sleeping in the subway and playing Polish folk tunes via a comb-turned-harmonica for coins.  Mikolaj, (Janusz Gajos) recognizes the tune and approaches Karol with an offer to take him back to Poland as well as a strange job proposition.

Eventually accepting both, Karol gets back to Poland through unusual means, then has another absurd turn of luck ending in his being beaten rather badly by thieves.  His fortune improves as he is able to stagger back to the family salon and begin to re-build his life.

Driven by his enduring love for the seemingly underserving Dominique (richly symbolized by objects he brought back from Paris), Karol builds a new life and fully embodies ‘revolutionary ideals’ as his bad fortune reverses itself in post-Communist Poland.

Karol is likeable (though pathetic at times) and the ending is weird, but at least there is continuous action.  According to Wikipedia, this is considered the weakest of the trilogy, but I thought it was pretty entertaining and still better than Blue.

If you:

• Like dark comedies
• Believe the following statement is true:  “Sometimes you’re the statue; sometimes you’re the pigeon”
• Think revenge is a dish best served slightly ridiculous

Put it in the queue!

If you:

• Prefer all your symbolism serious
• Don’t like the old ‘fake your own death’ ploy
• Are tired of watching movies where guys follow their exes around like lost sheep just begging for a mocking word or a kick to the emotional ribs

Don’t put it in the queue.  (And if you identify with the third reason, you should also probably take a break from watching movies starring Michael Cera.)

Written by Jennifer Venson

Winnebago Man

Starring: Jack Rebney Directed by: Ben Steinbauer

Some of my reviews have been criticized – and fairly so – for not really analyzing symbolism and such in movies. I don't tend to enjoy artsy films with hidden meanings, metaphorical stories within stories, allegories, allusions.  The main reason I never pursued a graduate degree in comparative literature is that I didn't see the point of re-reading and re-analyzing The Scarlet Letter, Beowulf and select stories from The Canterbury Tales again.

So it may surprise you this review is for a documentary about an Everyman character.  Of course, he's no Young Goodman Brown.  No, this is Jack Rebney.  Far from Puritan in his vocabulary, this proficiently-swearing symbol of frustration became a viral video icon even before YouTube was a glimmer in the Interwebs.

A reel of outtakes from a corporate Winnebego sales video made Rebney a star.  It's a ~5 minute video with clips of Rebney swearing about forgetting his lines, swearing about the heat, swatting at (and swearing at) flies disrupting the shoot.  It is a tapestry of profanity only the truly crabby at heart can weave together, intermingled with sheer irritation stemming from a difficult task.  Most of us have had days like this, and am personally very happy mine have never been caught on tape.

Unfortunately for Rebney, this film made it to the corporate office and led to the end of his career at Winnebego.  Director Ben Steinbauer decided to seek out the man – now an internet celebrity – and see where life has taken him.

Steinbauer approaches the topic with pop-culture laden curiosity.  Citing examples of other Internet celebrities – particularly those who didn't want the notoriety and experienced significant humiliation because of it, such as Star Wars Kid – he wants to know what became of Rebney.  The man himself is difficult to track down, finally discovered as the caretaker living in the mountains in northern California.  At first he is the picture of calm – a far cry from his video persona.   Just a peaceable old man living in the mountains, enjoying the solitude.

It does not seem like Steinbauer will have a very interesting documentary. Then Rebney contacts him and admits he did not give an accurate portrayal of his true character.  As he and Steinbauer build rapport, he reveals his true semi-cranky self.  However, he is not all bluster – he is an intelligent man with a great vocabulary, an affection for his dog, and a firm belief Dick Cheney has really screwed up the economy.

Though Steinbauer continually presses him to talk more about himself and share his views with his internet fans, Rebney hesitates.  He cannot believe he has die-hard fans, and figures they must all be a bunch of buffoons.  For a second time, the documentary nearly grinds to a halt.

Fortunately, Steinbauer invites Rebney to an event where he will meet his fans.  Reluctantly he goes, assuming he will find a bunch of lowbrows who have nothing better to do than watch stupid videos on the internet – and no, he will not stand around signing autographs.

Winnebego Man is both hilarious and heartwarming, annoying (well, mostly Steinbauer is annoying) and inspiring, and most of all – something Everyman (or Everywoman) who has had a really, really bad day at work can enjoy.

If you:

• Are crabby
• Swear a lot
• Are reasonably intelligent but still like watching stupid videos on YouTube from time to time

Put it in the queue!

If you:

• Are offended by profanity
• Are super positive all the time
• Do not believe Dick Cheney is a buffoon

Don't put it in the queue.

Written by Jennifer Venson

Blue

Starring: Juliette Binoche Directed by: Krzysztof Kieslowski

I watched Blue at the recommendation of my friend Daniel Ferreiro, who guaranteed I would love it. Still, I approached this movie with some hesitation as he and I do not always see eye-to-eye on films.

I can say that the movie was artfully made, with nice symbolic devices – the blue tint to the lighting in many scenes, the ‘fugue states’ the main character has throughout. However, I found much of the movie dreadfully boring.  Very little happens throughout the first hour of the film, which made roughly 90 minute feel like so much longer.

Within the first ten minutes, a single-car accident kills the husband and young daughter of Julie (Juliette Binoche) as they travel to an event. Waking up in the hospital, Julie is listless and despondent.  She attempts to distract a nurse and overdose on pills from the pharmacy, but cannot get the pills down.  As she sits staring off into the distance, a female reporter bothers her for an interview, asking if Julie is truly the composer of her late husband’s celebrated pieces – as rumored.

As the servants and family friend Oliver (Benoît Régent) help clear out the house, Oliver finds a file folder with pictures of the composer and an unknown woman in an embrace.  He doesn’t show Julie these photos.

Julie has the house cleared out of furniture and leaves the house behind to be sold as she cuts herself off from the world, destroying the manuscript with her husband’s last composition – designed to be played only once for the European Unification ceremony.  Taking very few belongings – most importantly a chandelier made of blue crystals – she finds an apartment in Paris and attempts to cut herself off from the rest of the world.

And then for an hour, Julie wanders through life – swimming, making friends with an exotic dancer who lives in the same apartment building, visiting her senile mother, sitting in cafes…doing little to nothing.  From time to time, she fades out of the world surrounding her, lost in the composition her husband had been writing.

Finally, everything starts falling into place in the last half hour.  The mystery of the composer, the mistress…all is answered.  In about a span of 15 minutes.

If you:

• Have patience.
• Like hearing French spoken.
• Like art films

Put it in the queue!

However, if you

• Are more interested in the journey of unraveling a mystery than the actual discoveries themselves
• Are creeped out by mice (there are a few scenes revolving around a large mouse that made its nest and gave birth in her closet)
• Have no patience

Don’t put it in the queue.

Written by: Jennifer Venson

The Red Violin

Starring: Carlo Cecchi, Jean-Luc Bideau, Samuel L. Jackson Directed by: François Girard

A few weeks ago I reviewed I’m Not There, which moved from storyline to storyline with the greatest of ease.  This week I watched another movie that juggles several storylines – The Red Violin.

The story begins at an auction, where Samuel L. Jackson strides in, gives the doorman his coat and says, “Don’t let me forget this.”  Sure, Samuel L. is playing Charles Morritz, but the viewer doesn’t know that yet.  The jewel of the auction is the last violin crafted by Niccolo Bussotti (Carlo Cecchi), a uniquely beautiful piece in an unusual shade of red.

The back story on the violin is simple – Bussotti made the violin for his soon-to-be-born child.  It is a perfectly crafted instrument.  His wife Anna (Irene Grazoli) also anticipates the child, but with some misgivings, fearing she is too old to have a child.  She asks the family servant to tell her future as reassurance – though ultimately she is not strongly reassured.   When neither Anna nor the child survive the birth, the violin moves on to an orphanage in Vienna.

Each change of hands of the violin is bookended by the reveal of one tarot card from Anna’s reading as well as a re-visit to the auction, with another member of the audience linked to the violin’s past.  My main issue with the film is the transition devices used in the movie tend to disrupt the flow of the story rather than helping bridge the episodes – especially the auction scenes.

I can’t say that I really liked or disliked the movie; I found it very polarizing.  Some scenes were exceptionally good – the violin’s adventure with the gypsies, though short, was artistically shot and the music associated with that sequence is probably my favorite piece from the score.  The foreign language film aspect is also interesting – each of the violin’s “homes” is in a different county, thus Italian is spoken at its genesis, German and French in Vienna, English at Oxford and Chinese in Shanghai.

But overall I just didn’t like the auction aspect – the idea behind it was great, but the execution felt forced.  Other than the violin’s time with hedonistic virtuoso Frederick Pope (Jason Flemyng), the episodes depicted a rather sheltered and sometimes ‘lost’ life.  However, the other interwoven device – the reading of the tarot cards – is excellent.  The mystery of the violin’s strange color is also interesting, but perhaps a little forced as well.

If you like:

• A tale tinged with melancholy
• Journeys through history – including some historic periods and situations you don’t normally see (such as Maoist China through the eyes of a conflicted party member)
• Beautiful violin music

Put it in the queue!

If you don’t like:

• A film device for the sake of using a device when the actual tale would suffice
• A tale tinged with melancholy
• Samuel L. Jackson acting the badass in a situation where no badass is needed (does a specialist on identifying and restoring string instruments really need to be a badass?  Really?)

Don’t put it in the queue.

Written by Jennifer Venson

Surveillance

Starring:  Bill Pullman, Julia Ormond Director:  Jennifer Lynch

I can’t resist a tale told from multiple points of view. One of the best books I have ever read is a Star Wars-based book, Tales From the Mos Eisley Cantina.  It’s a collection of short stories that all center around Han Solo shooting Greedo at the cantina – but from the points of view of different characters who were in the cantina at that time.  Everyone brings in their own context, their own perspective.

So when I read a description for Surveillance summarizing the movie as three witnesses giving very different accounts of a crime, and two FBI agents have to figure out what really happened, I was interested.

The opening credits are interspersed with images of a murder – which the viewer might presume is the crime central to the plot.  Then, the two FBI agents Hallaway (Bill Pullman) and Anderson (Julia Ormond) roll into town to take over interrogation of the witnesses from the local police with the requisite tension in the air.

When the interrogations begin – all in separate rooms but also on a video feed to agent Hallaway – the viewer learns it’s not really the account of the murder they witnessed that varies from the truth (at least what they believe is true), it’s the events that got them to the scene.  While each witness explains their trajectory toward the murder, viewers see what actually happened…and that two of the three witnesses have crimes of their own to hide.

Nine-year-old Stephanie (Ryan Simpkins) mostly just won’t talk much.  She draws pictures of the events and drinks hot chocolate with marshmallows while Agent Anderson tries to get Stephanie’s account of how her vacationing family ended up murder victims.

Officer Bennett (Kent Harper) is just angry and bitter, especially as his partner Officer Conrad (French Stewart) died during the action.  He’s convinced they were good cops, but their activities leading up to the murder – including incidents with both Bobbi and Stephanie’s family – suggest otherwise.

Bobbi (Pell James) is, as described by one of the officers, ‘high as a kite.’  She and her boyfriend claim to have been in town for a job interview, but really they were visiting a dealer in the area.  But that’s also not the whole truth about their trip either.

At just over an hour and a half long (really only about an hour of thriller and 30 minutes of ‘untangling’), there are only a few spots that Surveillance drags.  The movie was co-written and directed by Jennifer Lynch (daughter of David Lynch), which initially worried me, but the cuts between present time and recollection are done well.  It’s not incomprehensible.

Interestingly, the murder scene is catalyzed by “Add It Up” by the Violent Femmes. And the resolution is pretty twisted, but still makes sense in its own way

If you:

• Watch (or read) thrillers/mysteries or anything else in the crime or puzzle-solving genre because you like to try and figure it out before the end
• Liked Natural Born Killers
• Find it interesting how people can justify themselves and try (with or without success) to cover their asses for bad behavior

Put it in the queue!

If you:

• Don’t like graphic death scenes
• Are not ok with an open-ended resolution
• Are highly offended by ‘bad cops’

Don’t put it in the queue.

I'm Not There

Starring: Cate Blanchett, Ben Whishaw, Christian Bale, Richard Gere, Marcus Carl Franklin, Heath Ledger Directed by: Todd Haynes

Though I'm not much of a Bob Dylan fan, I had been wanting to see I'm Not There for quite some time-if for no other reason than to see how six very different actors – Cate Blanchett, Heath Ledger, Christian Bale, Marcus Carl Franklin, Richard Gere and Ben Wishaw – portraying this musician.

But none of them are actually Bob Dylan – they are characters that embody different personas, phases, re-inventions, perceptions.  The movie doesn't follow a chronological timeline; rather, it has a more organic, theme-driven flow.  The story of a 10-year-old guitar-playing, ballad-singing, train-hopping wanderer who calls himself Woody Guthrie (Franklin) bleeds into the world of Billy (Gere), a loner living on the outskirts of an old west-style town.

The movie diverts into a documentary-style approach – a tale told by others –  when introducing Jack (Bale).  Jack is a musician whose songs about his observations, thoughts and feelings resonate with the general public.  Hounded by attention, expectations, praise and labels he doesn't want and cannot handle, Jack eventually abandons these 'finger pointing songs' and pursues a career as a minister.

Another figure feeling trapped by public opinion, Jude Quinn (Blanchett) gets a very cold reception from fans (and other musicians) when switching from folk fare to electric guitar-driven rock.  With the sunglasses, wardrobe, hairstyle, chain-smoking, and cryptic comments that are apparently quintessential Dylan, Blanchett deserves the attention she got for this role.  A pill-popping, never sleeping, somewhat twitchy ball of energy, cryptic answers and refusal to be defined by what other think he is, Quinn appears to be the real mouthpiece of the film.  The artist stifled on all sides – both by the public eye as well as a lifestyle/charade that seems to be more troublesome to keep up than it serves as an escape.

Robbie (Ledger) and Arthur (Wishaw) are more peripheral characters – interesting in the way they are woven into the film as the budding young celebrity indulgently reveling in the limelight and the poet delivering insights on all that unfolds.

Even though I've described the characters and some elements of the story, I've really given nothing away about the overall experience of watching I'm Not There. I was a little worried when reading that it was somewhat of an art film, as that usually indicated the movie will make no sense (i.e. Tuvalu.)  Also, some musician biopics can be very choppy (the first half or so of La Vie En Rose…yikes) or perhaps more fiction than fact.  For example, I thought Walk the Line was fantastic, but after my grandparents saw it, my Gran had to comment, "Well, it was good, but June Carter Cash wasn't near that pretty!"

I would also recommend that you take a look at some of the special features – I flipped through all the character descriptions and other notes on the film before watching it, and I think that helped make my expectations for the movie a little more reasonable.  It also made me appreciate how awesome the overall vision of the film was that six facets of one character work exceptionally well together to project a seamless impression of how dynamic Bob Dylan's life has been.

If you:

• Appreciate philosophic ramblings – even if they are a little out there
• Like to find little links throughout movies/books/etc that tie the characters together in a clever way
• Have been searching for an example of a movie that is not really linear, but isn't so jumbled that it  that leaving you asking "…WTF??" at the end. (um….Lost Highway)
• Like a good soundtrack

Put it in the queue!

However, if you:

• Don't believe that a consistent theme can be a substitute for a plot – or believe a good movie must have a clear plotline to tell a story.
• Don't like harmonica
• Aren't big on philosophy and/or poetry
• Prefer your artsy films completely incomprehensible

Don't put it in the queue.

Written by Jennifer Venson

Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist

Starring: Michael Cera, Kat Dennings Directed by: Peter Sollett

When I was a senior in high school – and the summer after graduating – I spent a lot of weekends going to see local bands play.  I'd spend the last hour of checking groceries at the North Park Schnucks watching the clock, quickly count down my cash drawer at 9:30, then run upstairs to change clothes and layer on a ton of eye makeup and lipstick.  A quick 15 minute drive got me to the venue (usually a loft above an appliance store on Franklin Street), and then I just hung out and listened to the bands until 11:30-ish, as I generally had a midnight curfew.

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist seemed like it would be a cute movie – the 'accidental romance' schtick, some good music, a concert and comic relief via the drunk best friend who gets lost in the big bad city.

First, I must say that Michael Cera's agent deserves a swift kick in the shins – this kid seems to be getting typecast as a guy with shaggy hair and skinny jeans who is either 1.) in high school moping over girls or 2.) barely out of high school moping about girls.  It might have been more enjoyable if I'd seen the movie closer to the 2008 release date and not within a few months of watching Scott Pilgrim vs. The World as I really felt like he was playing the exact same character.

Next, I think it is probably about time for me to stop trying to watch teen movies.  They were still ok about 10 years ago, but now I think I am too old.  At one point in the movie somebody is talking about it being 4am, and everyone is still driving around.  My immediate thought was "WTF, don't these kids have a curfew?!?!?"

Also, the music was not that good.  When the movie title has 'infinite playlist' in the title, I expect lots and lots of music.  Most of the music was in the background, and I only recognized two of the songs.  Again, maybe I'm getting old – but I wouldn't have to look very hard to find a better playlist.  In fact, I can think of several soundtracks – Singles, Dazed and Confused, Reality Bites, Mortal Kombat – that I would prefer to listen to versus this stuff.

I just expected more charming little 'I think I really like you' moments between Nick and Norah.  There were a few, but really it seemed like they spent more time arguing or running into their exes at various clubs than developing feelings for each other.

Despite all this, I did find a few elements to enjoy.  Kat Dennings good as Norah, and I went through the entire movie marveling over the awesome shade of lipstick she was wearing.  She seemed more like a high school student than Nick's manipulative ex-girlfriend Tris (Alexis Dziena) and had the right balance of vulnerable and fearless.  She seemed very down-to-earth despite a privileged background. Gum chewing party girl Caroline (Ari Graynor) was also pretty humorous if you didn't think about her character too seriously, as were Nick's bandmates Thom (Aaron Yoo) and Dev (Rafi Gavron).

The best part of the movie was in the special features.   The four-minute 'puppet show' version of the movie Kat Dennings created and narrates is hilarious.  I actually recommend that you watch this (or at least the first two minutes) instead – no queue needed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9I97HHzlm4Q

Written by Jennifer Venson

The Atomic Cafe

Directed by: Jayne Loader, Kevin Rafferty, Pierce Rafferty Initially, The Atomic Café looks and sounds like an old film (not a video – an actual reel-to-reel film) your fifth-grade science teacher would trot out on a day s/he didn’t feel like actively teaching. Grainy, spotty images, quavery sound…narration that sounded like it had been read by a stuffy radio announcer trained in the pre-TV era.

And in truth, this 1982 documentary about the atomic bomb and its role in US war, propaganda peacekeeping in the 1940s and 50s should look old because pretty much all the footage comes from the archives. Interviews, military training films, other 'public information' films, if you will, patch together a fascinating story about how the atomic bomb and its consequences were 'sold' to the American public.

Early clips cover the first atomic bomb drop. According to interviews, the Enola Gay crew thought they were on a 'routine' mission and did not know exactly what they were carrying to unleash on the Hiroshima target until they were well on course. Then after dropping the bomb, some marveled at the sight. One soldier was filmed describing the thrill of the drop and explosion – 'pretty as a picture.'

It's very easy to watch this and clips of Americans dancing in the streets after the victory in Japan as with a damning eye. How dare these people act so flippantly about a bomb with such ridiculously destructive power? It's easy for us – citizens of a country juggling three foreign wars with minimal personal consequences – to condemn them. However, it's also easy to understand how excited people were for life to return to normal. Also, the next hour's worth of the documentary suggests most Americans probably had little to no idea exactly how destructive the atomic bomb was.

In fact, interviews captured in the documentary indicated Hiroshima was targeted primarily because it hadn't been bombed and scientists needed a better understanding of its effects in a 'real' environment. An additional test done at Bikini Atoll to study the impact of an atomic bomb explosion on animals and ships yielded some unexpected insights – at the expense of innocent bystanders. Shifting winds and a larger-than-expected blast radius treated a Japanese fishing boat crew to radiation poisoning and exposed native islanders already evacuated from the drop zone to radiation. News agencies reported no ill effects to the islanders, but footage shown in this documentary suggested otherwise.

Subsequent footage of the army sending eager young troops directly into an atomic blast zone – and telling them radiation is the least dangerous of the three main dangers of an atomic bomb (vs. the blast or heat) – convinced me this documentary was rightfully classified as a horror movie. Even worse was watching all the young troops scurry out of their foxholes and trot toward an awful tower of smoke, not knowing that the damage has probably already been done if they forgot to close their eyes or mouth during the blast and got a faceful of irradiated dirt. Army training films with horrendously wooden acting show characters waxing poetically about how an atomic blast is 'a wonderful sight to behold' made me feel ill.

In addition, heavy leveraging of the Cold War, Red Scare and the dangers of Communism were, presumably, also fed to the public. Propaganda films showed the Statue of Liberty exploding, a giant fist crushing symbols of democracy. Another program challenged potential naysayers of the 'domino effect,' illustrating through a daylong experiment in a small Wisconsin town, how easy it would be for communists to take over even in America. Notably, the Communist experiment was sponsored by two California malls featuring lots of free parking for those cars – things Americans have a lot of that Communists don't.

Finally, the power of fear and ignorance continues to provide interesting fare. Video of 'duck and cover' drills in case of nuclear attack are somewhat laughable – as are a demonstration of a children's lead-lined protective suit complete with head protection for the post-nuclear world. Also in an era where most houses don't have basements to protect really well from a tornado, much less a nuclear attack, it was interesting to see advertising and advice for the largely ineffective fallout shelters, such as: "Be sure to include tranquilizers to ease the strain and monotony of life in a fallout shelter. A bottle of 100 should be sufficient for a family of four. Tranquilizers are not a narcotic, and are not habit-forming."

Overall, this documentary reminds me of a Patton Oswalt routine where he's talking about how sometimes science is all about "could of" instead of "should have." One quote from the film mirror this, saying, 'science has outpaced what we can emotionally and intellectually handle.' I think this is a good thing to consider when watching the film – and to continually keep in mind as modern war keeps evolving.

If you:

· Like History Channel-style fare

· Like science

· Have a somewhat pessimistic/critical view of human nature, war and culture

Put it in the queue!

If you:

· Are overly sensitive about political correctness (i.e. will flip out over the use of 'Japs' and depiction of native islanders as simpleminded)

· Are still afraid that Communists will take over the world

· Don't understand that sometimes documentaries can be propaganda themselves

Don't put it in the queue.

Written by Jennifer Venson

Jackass 3

Starring: Johnny Knoxville Directed by: Jeff Tremaine

When I was in high school, the cutting edge in class projects was making a video.  Inevitably one in four students had parents with a clunky mid-1990s camera.  Every once in a while we had some humorous outtakes – a dog barks at the exact time two characters are shaking hands, somebody trips over a fallen branch while being chased through the forest by wiener dogs, Mac Duff turns into an alien and slays Macbeth and friends, somebody starts cracking up about the rubber rat and (also fake) disembodied foot just…sitting there in the frame while someone else it trying to do a serious newscast about the problems of trench foot and trench rats during WWI.

Basically, everything we thought was funny while filming wasn't remotely funny to anyone else.

Herein lies the beauty of Jackass.  It began on MTV as a series based on people who made videos of themselves doing stupid stunts that people found hilarious. Why in the world it is funny to see grown men snort wasabi up their nose (then promptly vomit), shoot bottle rockets out of their asses, give themselves paper cuts and devise myriad ways get hit in the nuts or fall off a skateboard/roller skates/bike/pretty much anything with wheels – I don't understand it.  But it makes me laugh. A lot.

I was initially hesitant about seeing Jackass 3 and waited until it was on video.  The TV show and first movie:  comedy gold.  Jackass Number Two was, literally, a turd.  It had too many snakes and too much gratuitous poop for me to really enjoy it.

Jackass 3 falls solidly between the two.  It doesn't quite recapture the ridiculous magic of Night Pandas, Hardware Store Crap or Golf Course Airhorns, but it does revisit quite a few classic gags (no pun intended…though there are more than a few gags from the cast, crew and potentially viewers).

The highlights:

• Wee Bar Brawl – starring Jason "Wee Man" Acuña and others.  The reactions of the other bar patrons are absolutely classic.
• Jet Stream.  Ever wanted to see how powerful of a wind storm a jet engine can kick up?  How far will it chuck a bag of flour, a tomato, a shoe? Will it be funny to see people get knocked over while trying to walk into the wind?  Of course.  This skit also prompts Johnny Knoxville to say, "That's the story of Jackass there! Pissing in the wind!"
• Roller Buffalo – funnier more to see Johnny Knoxville dancing around on roller skates in a muddy buffalo pen while wearing a pink 1950s-style cardign emblazoned with the Jackass logo than the buffalo charge.
• Bungee Boogie – More stupid ramp tricks, though the surfboard-on-a-skateboard stunt is pretty awesome.
• Scooter Shopping – not quite as funny as some of the 'old man shenanigans' from prior skits, but pretty hilarious.  Crowd reactions are always the best part.

The lowlights:

• Super Mighty Glue – involves ripping off chest/back/chin hair via a handful of super glue.  Kinda painful to watch.
• Sweat Suit Cocktail – involved Steve-O drinking bodily fluids then vomiting profusely.  This one almost made me toss my cookies.
• Lamborghini Tooth Pull – need I say more
• Snake Pit - I hate snakes.  Probably not as much as Bam Margera or Indiana Jones, but I still have some trouble seeing a bunch of the legless reptiles wriggling around, ready for action.

If you:

• Enjoy the ridiculous stunts the Jackass crew invents – or at least the crowd reactions when they do the stunts in public
• Would enjoy America's Funniest Home Videos – with a naughty twist
• Have ever secretly had a crush on Johnny Knoxville or any of his stupid buddies

Put it in the queue!

If you:

• Strongly dislike seeing people eliminate bodily fluids (vomit, poo, urine, blood) on camera
• Don't think people getting hit in the nuts is funny
• Have never found Jackass even remotely humorous before

Don't put it in the queue.

Written by Jennifer Venson

From Russia With Love

Satrring: Sean Connery, Daniela Bianchi Directed by: Terence Young

There's only one Bond – James Bond.  And the consummate James Bond is Sean Connery.

I've read more novels by Ian Fleming featuring the dashing 007 than I've seen films about this spy extraordinaire.  The books are wonderfully well-written and better than I ever expected.  I just never got into the movies all that much.

Recently my friend Enrique Guemez suggested I watch From Russia With Love as it he thought it followed the novel very closely and wanted to see what my thoughts were on the film.

After watching it, I agreed.  The movie opens on a chess tournament – no 007 in sight.  Instead, we meet the Russians.  Controlled and frosty as the Cold War itself, they conspire to trap James Bond by tapping into his weakness for women.  The movie nicely condenses several chapters into a quick conference with the key Russian players – Colonel Klebb (Lotta Lenya), the assassin 'Red' Grant (Robert Shaw) she hand-picks (and punches to test his mettle) as the man to kill James Bond,  then introduces us to the handsome Bond whiling away the morning with one of his many admirers.

More importantly, M (Bernard Lee) has just been told a woman working in the Russian intelligence office in Istanbul has fallen in love with Bond based on his file and desperately wants him to help her escape to England. The British secret service immediately suspects something is rotten in Denmark, but can't figure out the rub.

With a briefcase full of tricks (primarily hidden weapons), Bond travels to Turkey to rendezvous with this mysterious woman Tatiana Romanova (Daniela Bianchi).  While he waits for her to make herself known, he pals around with the jovial Kerim Bey (Pedro Armendáriz).  Bey, the longtime intelligence contact in Turkey, has many children to help him run his cover business as well as secretive activities, excellent Turkish cigarettes, a Rolls Royce, a Russian operative trying to kill him, and a periscope that was strategically installed to help him spy on the Russian intelligence office.

I honestly did not expect much of the adventures of Bond and Bey to make it into the movie – particularly the gypsy fight (which is a bit different from the book, but not much). However, they prove to be very action-packed and entertaining.

Bond's first meeting with Romanova has all the requisite sensuality and drama, as does their escape from Istanbul (and the Russians) on the Orient Express…then a 'borrowed' produce truck…then a speedboat.  Full of daring evasions, explosions, charm and the luck of the Bond, our hero, his cohorts and his lady deliver an exciting adventure until the very end, when a last-minute attempt to salvage this konspirastia almost succeeds.

As probably only the third Jame Bond movie I have seen in its entirely, From Russia With Love delivers. I also realized while watching this movie that James Bond is probably the reason action heroes feel they have to be ready with a one-liner.  He has several good one throughout the film, particularly after dispatching a pesky foe.

If you:

• Like a good action flick
• Love James Bond or have ever wanted to be a 'Bond girl'
• Like reading a good book and then seeing an equally good movie version

Put it in the queue!

However, if you:

• Want the Russians to win
• Prefer Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Daniel Craig, George Lazenby, or Pierce Brosnan as James Bond

Don't put it in the queue.

Written by Jennifer Venson

Your Highness

Starring: Danny McBride, Natalie Portman, James Franco Directed by: David Gordon Green

It is rare for me to go to the movie theater.  It is even less likely that I go to see a mainstream movie rather than an indie or foreign film at the Mariemont or Esquire theaters.  It is exceptionally rare that the movie is so bad I feel that I have wasted several hours of my life. Before Saturday, the last film I felt this way about was The Chronicles of Riddick (2004).  Now I feel that way about Your Highness.

When I first saw trailers for Your Highness, it sort of reminded me of Robin Hood:  Men in Tights.   Medieval silliness, bawdy humor, bows and arrows.  I haven't been a fan of too many recent comedies as most of them substitute thoroughly ridiculous plot elements and dick & fart jokes for a decent script.  However, I had been pleasantly surprised by one other film directed by David Gordon Green – The Pineapple Express.  I thought at parts of that movie were pretty clever (especially the process serving via costumes shtick in the beginning), and it made me laugh.

I think I laughed ONCE during Your Highness.  The whole premise is that Prince Thadeous (Danny McBride) is a royal screwup.  He can't complete even a simple diplomatic or heroic quest and pretty much spends his time loafing about the palace or smoking bowls.  His brother, Prince Fabious (James Franco) is the golden boy – returning from many a successful quest slaying monsters, rescuing fair maidens…the usual fare.

In fact, Fabious returns from his most recent quest with the beautiful Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel), who had been imprisoned in a tower by the evil magician Leezar (Justin Theroux).  Fabious intends to marry her and insists Thadeous stand by him as his best man.  This incenses his questing buddies, who feel they deserve to stand up with Fabious more than his sluggard brother.  Regardless, the wedding never happens as Leezar magically snatches back Belladonna as she is needed for a prophecy he intends to fulfill.

Fabious immediately goes into questing mode to rescue her; their king and father insists Thadeous go as well as his last chance at doing something honorable for the family.   Grudgingly, he and his page Courtney (Rasmus Hardiker) load themselves into a carriage for the journey.  Thought Thadeous intends to spend the whole quest in a drug-addled haze, things do not go as he expects.

First, they must get a prophecy from a purple, perverted, pot-smoking puppet wizard who gives them a magical compass and tells them they have to get a sword make of a unicorn's horn to kill Leezar.  Then things go downhill.  After losing the other knights, their carriages and horses, the brothers are captured by an army of scantily-clad women and thrown into a gladiatorial arena for the entertainment of the diaper-clad Marteetee (John Fricker).

After the mysterious Isabel (Natalie Portman) – also on a quest – saves their hides, they resume traveling with only a few days before the prophecy-fulfilling event.  (Leezar calls the prophecy night "The Fuckening" as he must impregnate Belladonna during the eclipse of the two moons so she can bear him a ferocious dragon.)  Fabious runs into some trouble, and it is up to Thadeous to find the sword and save the day.

By the end of the movie I was pretty much begging for a fart joke.  The pot and dick jokes got old about an hour and a half before Thadeous began wearing a minotaur's severed phallus around his neck on a string as a trophy.  The best part of the movie was the bag of Raisinettes I bought at the concession stand and the trailer for the X-Men prequel.

I do not recommend that anyone waste any money or time on this sorry excuse for a film, either at the theater or in the queue.  They just don't make 'em like they used to.

(If you are also yearning for a good quest-related fart joke, here you go.  When I was a kid, I used to play the King's Quest games with my best friend on ye olde 1980s PC.  In KQ III, you controlled the game actions by typing in commands.  Being about 10 years old at the time, we thought it was freaking hilarious to type in "fart" as a command.  The game's response was, "You are a naughty little wizard."  I miss games like that…)

Written by Jennifer Venson

How to Train Your Dragon

Starring: Jay Baruchel Directed by: Dean DeBlois, Chris Sanders

Put your stereotype hat on and describe a Viking.  You're probably thinking big, hairy, strong, wears a helmet with horns, lived in cold northern countries in Europe (or in Minnesota) and probably swings a big axe.

In the movie How to Train Your Dragon, Hiccup (voiced by Jay Baruchel) is a young, skinny Viking who does not seem fierce in the least.  When his village is attacked by livestock-stealing, fire-breathing dragons (which happens on a regular basis), Hiccup has to help sharpen weapons rather than join the fight.  He tries to compensate for his lack of stature with weapon-tossing contraptions, but he has a reputation for bumbling into more chaos rather than taking down a dragon.

And he wants more than anything to prove himself with a dragon kill, just like everyone else.  It's what Vikings in his village do – especially his father, Stoick the Vast.

Though Hiccup is fairly certain his bola-throwing machine downed one of the mysterious Night Fury dragons ("You can't see them…but they never miss!") during a battle, no one else saw the hit…or find the fallen dragon.  All they saw was Hiccup getting in the way during the fight.

Hiccup knows his father considers his total lack of fierceness – physically and mentally – a disappointment.  So he is shocked to learn his father is sending him to training classes with the other teenagers (including the beautiful yet fierce Astrid, voiced by America Ferrera) to learn how to kill dragons.

Of course, the other kids want nothing to do with him.  Which reminds me of the intro to the "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)" video by My Chemical Romance:

"You like D&D, Audrey Hepburn, Fangoria, Harry Houdini and croquet.  You can't swim, you can't dance and you don't know karate.  Face it, you're never going to make it!"

However, Hiccup is still convinced there's a dead or injured Night Fury in the woods somewhere – which would give him tremendous credibility in the tribe.  He finds it…but cannot bring himself to kill it.  He helps the Night Fury escapes, but it ends up trapped in a secluded valley.  Fascinated by the beast, Hiccup begins to learn about the creature's habits and devises a way to help "Toothless" fly again.

Hiccup also realizes from his training that Vikings do not know as much about dragons as they think they do – the one 'fact' applying to all of them is – EXTREMELY DANGEROUS, KILL ON SIGHT.

Can Hiccup change the way this extremely stubborn Viking tribe thinks?  Can he get through dragon killing training without actually killing a dragon?  Will his father ever be proud of him?  Will he win Astrid's heart?  (Duh, of course!  This is a kids' movie.)

Not only does the movie have all the excellent visual trappings expect of an animated feature, I thought the overall situations and themes were excellent.  Honestly,  I liked this movie better than Toy Story 3 and would find a way to teach with this movie if I were still in the classroom.

This movie was highly recommended to me by my good friend Peggy Parker, and I highly recommend it to you.

If you:

• Have ever felt different/alone/rejected/like you just didn't fit in
• Have ever proved the people who doubted you wrong
• Have ever had a pet and know how rewarding it can be

Put it in the queue!

However, if you

• Have ever felt superior to 'weaklings' and are convinced brawn is better than brains
• Are ok with believing the conventional 'wisdom' and have never stopped to question if what we 'know' is based on experience or speculation

Don't put it in the queue.

Written by Jennifer Venson

Major League

Starring: Tom Berenger, Charlie Sheen, Rene Russo Directed by: David S. Ward

Baseball season has finally arrived!  The Reds kicked off their 2011 season by winning with a bottom-of-the 9^th victory over the Brew Crew.

Speaking of other things that are associated with baseball, winning and the Brewers…your opening day movie review is Major League.  We have a film centered around a baseball team, a double dose of winning with Charlie Sheen as a pitcher who helps the team have an awesome season, and Brewers announcer Bob Uecker as the play-by-play announcer for a the miserable Cleveland Indians.

This gem from 1989 introduces the viewer to an Indians team on a 30+ year streak of pennant-less seasons.  When the team’s owner dies and leaves the team to his young ex-showgirl wife, she takes over with relish.  However, what she’s relishing is a clause in the ownership contract that allows her to move the team if attendance falls below a certain level.  So she does her best to invite pretty much only the ‘has beens and never wills’ to Spring Training.

A jumble of minor-leaguers, longshot rookies, a crusty coach, a prima donna contract player and an eccentric slugger make up the team.  Jake Taylor (Tom Berenger) is a catcher with questionable knees who is trying to make the most of what could be his last shot at the majors and at proving to his ex-girlfriend Lynn (Rene Russo) that he can act like an adult.  Their storyline is pretty much the only serious element in the film.

To carry the baseball metaphor further, humor in Major League is mostly ‘small ball’ – lots of little laughs, few fall-out-of-your-seat zingers.  Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn (Charlie Sheen) starts the movie in prison and throws the baseball hard, but not well.  His lack of accuracy is kind of funny, as is his temper tantrum after getting ejected from a game.  However, Carlos Zambrano makes him look like an amateur.  What’s really funny – Charlie Sheen wearing Rec Specs.   Just the accessory every warrior assassin should have, right?

The eccentric Cuban and Voodoo follower Pedro Serrano (Dennis Haysbert, aka the Allstate guy) crushes fastball pitches but has trouble hitting anything else.  His elaborate shrine with offerings (rum, cigars, fried chicken), rituals to ward off getting cut from the team and chants to make his bat less afraid of curveballs are pretty funny. If I recall correctly, the absurdity of his rituals get even funnier in Major League II

Wesley Snipes is the uninvited spring training crasher Willie Mays Hayes.  Though he’s fast, has tremendous base stealing potential and does a really humorous 80s-style dance after making them team, he really can’t hit well at first – which crusty coach Lou Brown (James Gammon) attempts to fix by having Hayes do 20 pushups every time he hits the ball anywhere but to the ground. He’s not the only one that has trouble with the game; in the first few outings their fielding is also in very sad shape.

The Indians radio announcer, Harry Doyle (Bob Uecker), does his play-by-play with the help of Jack Daniel and sometimes fakes crowd noise to make it seem like there are people at the games.

A few running gags with Cleveland citizens, the grounds crew and a die-hard contingent of drum-beating fans also provide the laughs.  (Also funny because there is actually some person who goes to a Cleveland Indians games and bangs a drum…at least he was there when I went to an Indians game at Progressive Field).

All in all a very enjoyable film if you:

• Really need a baseball fix, regardless of the season
• Get a kick out of goofy play-by-play-->whether it’s “He needs a hit like I need a ham sandwich and a cold one” or “He’s going to hit it right down broadway, and then I need two orders of funnel fries – some for night, and some for midnight.”
• Are even a little bit obsessed with Charlie Sheen.

so put it in the queue!

However, if you:

• Prefer the ridiculous and over-the-top modern approach to comedies
• Don’t like baseball
• Don’t have tiger blood

Don’t put it in the queue.

(Though Ryan assures me the Indians were good in the recent past, my perception of them will probably always be going to a game in Cleveland 2008, seeing Cliff Lee pitch extremely well (duh), then watching the relief pitching give up a lot of runs as the fans gave a collective groan of disgust and left the game early).

Written by Jennifer Venson

Firefly and Serenity

Starring: Nathan Fillion Directed/Conceived by: Joss Whedon

I tend to like the works of Joss Whedon. I’ve seen all seven seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I’ve watched two and a half seasons of Angel.   Unfortunately, I also watched two episodes of Dollhouse...not his best stuff. I saw Serenity at the movies years ago, knowing it was based on a TV show but never having seen a single episode of Firefly.

I really missed out.  Fortunately, that was easily corrected.  Firefly is not only on Netflix, but you can also generally purchase the complete series for under 20 bucks.

Firefly exists in the world of science fiction – spaceships, laser guns, cities on far-flung planets – but acts like the wild, wild west.   The cast is very diverse: Captain Mal Reynolds (Nathan Fillion, currently better known as the title character from Castle) and his crew wander around the galaxy taking on random smuggling jobs and doing their best to avoid The Alliance government.  Mal and his first officer Zoe (Gina Torres) fought against The Alliance during the rebellion; Zoe’s husband Wash (Alan Tudyk) is the ship’s pilot.   To increase their income during a shortage of smuggling jobs, they take on some passengers.  In addition to the roving religious man Shepherd Book (Ron Glass), they also take on Dr. Simon Tam (Sean Maher) – who secretly brings aboard his sister River (Summer Glau).  Once a child prodigy, she became the subject of mysterious government tests that leave her with troubling nightmares, erratic behavior and some unexpected skills.  Of course, both are now fugitives from The Alliance.

Mal is like a *slightly* more gregarious version of Han Solo – focused and practical, somewhat mercenary, but still with a personal code of honor and a quick wit. He does his best to keep the crew – particularly Jayne (Adam Baldwin) – in check and Serenity in the sky.  He’s a captain that will go down with the ship if needed, defend a woman’s honor and turn down a job (or at least return the goods) that steals from the poor to benefit the rich.

Every character brings a unique skill or past that comes in handy – such as Jayne’s status as a folk hero on one world and the ability of Inara, renter of one  of the ship's shuttles and ‘paid companion’ (i.e. highly trained consort, played by Morena Baccarin) to bring an element of class and gain access to higher levels of society than most of the crew can.

My favorite episodes include:

• “Shindig” –  In which the ship’s mechanic Kaylee (Jewel Staite) gets a chance to attend a ball in a fancy dress, is ridiculed by several bitchy aristocrats, and wins the attention of many men with her vast knowledge of spaceships and their engines.  Inara also receives an interesting proposition from a repeat client, and Mal inadvertently challenges a man to a duel (with swords) by punching him during an argument.
• “Out of Gas” –  After an explosion disables key systems in Serenity, Mal sends the others off the ship while he fixes it and reminisces  about how he purchased the ship and assembled his crew.  This one is a rare example of a well-done ‘flashbacks’ episode (though, none of the flashbacks are made of clips from past episodes).
• “Heart of Gold” – A friend of Inara’s requests help after a powerful local leader threatens one of her employees.  Similar to her recurring role as Lady Heather on CSI: Las Vegas, Melinda Clarke plays the tough, smart and sensual brothel owner (former companion) Nandi.

As Firefly met with an untimely cancellation, the storyline was carried on a little further in the 2005 movie Serenity.  After re-capping Simon’s rescue of River, the storyline picks up pretty much where the last episode of Firefly left off – same characters and all.  It’s not necessary to watch Firefly to understand or enjoy the movie, but the movie does close a lot of loops the series left open (but not all of them).

Serenity centers on River’s growing instability and decisions the crew is forced to make because of it.  The movie uncovers new powers or hers and the equally sharp dangers and benefits they can yield.  Understanding her swings between psychic clarity and apparent madness takes the crew into dangerous territory – with a government assassin on their tail –  and provides even more reasons to never trust The Alliance or move to an experimental community on the edge of the galaxy.

If you:

• Can’t get enough of the Mutant Enemy mascot (grrr….arrr)
• Like sci-fi and westerns
• Like shows with multi-dimensional characters and shiny dialogue
• Have ever wanted to roam free in the galaxy

Put them in the queue!

If you:

• Will be disappointed by the lack of aliens (what, you were expecting the Mos Eisley Cantina?)
• Don’t believe we will ever be zipping around the galaxy in spaceships in the future
• Are expecting a cameo from Angel, Buffy or Spike

Don’t put them in the queue.

Written by Jennifer Venson

Boondock Saints I & II

Starring: Sean Patrick Flanery, Norman Reedus, Willem Dafoe Directed by: Troy Duffy

Happy St. Patrick’s Day to ya!  Did you go to church this morning?  Or maybe just to the bar to kick back a few pints?

If you haven’t started celebrating yet, I suggest you celebrate by watching Boondock Saints.  There’s nothing like some vengeance wrought by a pair of Irish-American brothers in Boston to help you honor the patron saint of Ireland.

Connor (Sean Patrick Flanery) and Murphy (Norman Reedus) MacManus are two churchgoing, sunglasses-wearing, constantly smoking brothers who also appear to be fun loving and somewhat immature, based on early scenes.    Some unfortunate repercussions from a fight at their favorite bar introduce them to the opera-listening, flaming and brilliant FBI agent Smecker (Willem Dafoe).

Their manic friend Rocco (David Della Rocco) is a part of the Italian mob, and together they go on an entertaining quest to rid the city of undesirable elements.    Great combinations of sheer luck, skill and exaggerated violence help the boys make progress toward their goal , all the while confounding the local police – who are constantly sent to go get coffee and/or bagels for Smecker as a punishment for cluelessness.

If you:

• Prefer a more serious/dramatic vigilante film
• Are unwilling to suspend your disbelief
• Are disturbed by ridiculous violence
• Don’t appreciate the beauty of prayer/ritual (especially in Latin)

Don’t put it in the queue.

If you:

• Like CSI-styles shows where the cops have to figure out a homicide that has been carried out in an unusual manner
• Like action films with a little gratuitous violence
• Love the versatility of Willem Dafoe (in my opinion, he MAKES this movie excellent)
• Hunger for Veritas and Aequitas
• Like a cute Irish accent
• Don’t expect a serious drama

Put it in the queue!

Then I watched Boondock Saints II:  All Saints Day.   I cannot, in good conscience, recommend this movie.  Aside from some of the confrontation scenes – the last shootout in particular – this movie was a waste of time.  Here are all the reasons I do not recommend putting this in the queue at all:

• They tried too hard to make it have a plot.  And the plot is pretty terrible.
• Their new ‘sidekick’ is kind of annoying.  Rocco was too, but in a different, more tolerable way.
• The humor just isn’t there.  It seemed like if there was any lapse in dialogue, they just filled it with a gay joke or an f-bomb.  Not funny.
• The cops aren’t humorously incompetent, they are painfully incompetent and falling all over themselves for FBI special agent Eunice Bloom (Julie Benz – who I find über annoying), who replaced Smecker.
• It is too long – nearly two hours.  It probably would have been half an hour shorter if they hadn’t felt the need to include a boatload of flashbacks from the first film.
• The ending includes a cheesy and blatantly obvious eye toward a third installation.  Blasphemous…

I almost recommended it for those who were really interested in the back story for Il Duce.  But really, it’s just a couple more flashbacks that aren’t all that enlightening.

Skip this one and go have a couple more green beers instead.  A hangover is more pleasant than this sequel.

Written by Jennifer Venson